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Need help, motivtion, prayers whatever.

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7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/11, 01:25 PM Ok here goes, as most here know I have fought and so far defeated depression pretty much on my own for 10 years. Well like the movies said "IITTTs Here"! Yup for the last few weeks I have had a serious depression. And to make matters worse it started just as my gym membership ran out. One of my key ways to fight this ugly monster was to lift. I will be able to start back in about a month.. Guys I know others here have gone thru this so you know what i mean when I say that for like 3 weeks everythign was deep black. I mean it took all I had to get out of bed and not run naked thru the streets till they caught me. I thouhgt about going to the local looney bin but could not leave my wife and little guy at home. I am better this week, a few days ago the curtain "lifted" and I started to come out of it. I did a few sets in my basement and that seemed to help as well. So tonight if I get a 30 min break from the sick child and worn out mommy I plan on hitting what weights I have. I have not felt this low in like 10 years. I had no one to really turn to. Well I am going to be fighting I do nto want to go on medication again. I did talk to my Mommy and she helped. So if you could just give a prayer out for me or whatever I would be in your debt. It is at the point now that if the "curtain" falls again I do not know if I have it in me to lift it again...thanks all! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/08/11, 01:36 PM Aw Mutt. :( I totally hear you. I wish I could give you the "remedy" for such a thing, but sadly, I don't think I am capable. I don't know if this will help - but you are not alone - I'm right in that darkness with you. I too have been going through the "blackness" for the some time, and I have yet to see any curtain lifting. I will give a prayer for you, and tonight I will do an extra set of deadlifts just for you - only because I know how much you like them :) Take care big guy :)
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/11, 01:45 PM LOL thanks and I do know what youmean hang in there I am sure you can lift it off ya!! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/08/11, 01:47 PM Well, I was actually thinking of dividing your amount of weight in 2 sets...or maybe even 3! LOL I only deadlift 100lbs so maybe 3 is the option?
tarab21 Posts: 508 Joined: 2003/03/31	2003/08/11, 01:51 PM Hey Mutt, I've been where you are and know the feeling. Don't ever forget to look at the positive things in your life. You are healthy, have a family, have many accomplishments, and numerous other things if you take a minute to reflect on them. Remember to ACCEPT that all humans experience ups and downs during their lives...the downs are not fun but help us to grow and learn. We will pray for you, but you may also find it helpful to say prayers for yourself.... take care.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/11, 01:52 PM Which weight what I weigh? Or what I lifted? LOL either way go for it! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/08/11, 01:52 PM You will get out of it Mutt.You have a good reason to....your litle guy and wife. Nice to see you Azon, and you keep going too! -------------- You can walk to anywhere you want, it only takes time. Ivan Montreal Canada (aka SpongeBob Square Pants to some!)
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/08/11, 02:34 PM Hi carivan - thanks - nice to c u 2 Mutt - I was talking about what you lift in deadlifts divided in to how many sets it would require me to achieve that....I will probably spend the entire night deadlifting though......LOL
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/11, 02:38 PM well if you lift 100 a set now all you need to do is add 5 lbs or so for 4-5 sets LOL -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/08/11, 03:08 PM I guess I am going to be sore tomorrow LOL
erirvine Posts: 196 Joined: 2002/11/20	2003/08/12, 01:08 AM Hey Mutt, just to say you have got my thoughts. Also know for every person who contacts you to say something similar there is a boatload who appreciates the advice you gave them or just plain enjoyed one of your motivational stories. You have been a beneficial influence in many people’s lives, helping them feel better about themselves and achieve their goals. I’m sure that even if they are a little unsure at what to write their thoughts are with you. ED!
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/08/12, 08:38 AM Nicely put Ed - well said! Ok Mutt, last night I did 4 sets (rep 15) of 95lb - I did some of your sets for you and decided to forgot mine! LOL I am feeling it today.....lol
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/12, 09:57 AM Awesome Am-azon!!! Thanks for the kind words guys I am feeling much better -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
OliveU2 Posts: 57 Joined: 2002/08/13	2003/08/12, 10:04 AM Yes Mutt, you are an inspiration to many of us here!!! I just wanted to add something that you may not want to hear...I wouldn't be afraid of checking out the meds route again (short term), sometimes its just what we need to lift us out of that "funk" we're in before it gets much worst!
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/12, 10:11 AM I undestand that but the lst time I went on it it just made the problem worse -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
bb1fit Posts: 11,105 Joined: 2001/06/30	2003/08/12, 12:22 PM Mutt, sometimes when things seem at their very worst, that is when it becomes its best. It is but a prelude to better things. Hang in there, you are strong and it will get better. Best wishes to you and your family. Stay strong! -------------- Great people never want it easier, they just want to be better! Ron
azredhead57 Posts: 1,651 Joined: 2003/04/11	2003/08/12, 03:47 PM quoting from mutt **I thouhgt about going to the local looney bin but could not leave my wife and little guy at home.** Therein lies the key to what keeps you going. I myself have gone the med route and with much success, but I started the training at the same time so who can say for sure, right? I learned from therapy that as long as I feel that I need to be here for my family, then I have what it takes to overcome the depression. So, hang on to that and to yourself, mutt. We are here for you and our thoughts and prayers go out to you. You have helped me so much with your advice and motivation, I am happy to return the favor. You are right to hit the weights at home as physical activity is definitely helpful. Make yourself up a new 'at home' workout and take the family for a long walk. Hang in there big guy...we are all rooting for ya! -------------- ~Victoria~ ...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
kirby00 Posts: 238 Joined: 2002/11/05	2003/08/13, 11:32 AM Victoria's right - we *are* all rooting for you and here to listen when you're having trouble. Just like you have the drive and dedication to make your body healthy, you have what you need to make your mind and soul healthy...sometimes it's just hard to find. You'll get it back.
rsquade Posts: 152 Joined: 2003/01/06	2003/08/13, 12:38 PM Mutt - no simple answers to depression, I share the condition. Can you use this less intense time to examine the root causes? Therapy works for me - I also avoid the meds and use working out to control depression - but therapy has given me techniques to manage and explore my issues. Sometimes, I think all I need is a trusted friend - and you've got them here in droves. If you want to do email direct, let me know. One simple thing I caught on to was watching my blood sugar - if I'm late eating I start to run down emotionally - 5-6 meals becomes essential for me to stay even.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/13, 02:04 PM I eat trust me on that lOL My main problem is 2 things, weight and job. The weight thing has been the main problem allmy life I am no longer depressed about that. Now it is my job and the lack of pay the fact it sucks. I hate it the company etc....but right now in my area it is the best thing for my family. Oh well...I lifted a little last night and I now am raring to go at the end of the month. As for going to the docs meds etc...I have seen first hand with me and my mother what they can and can not do. If it works for you by all means nothing wrong with that. For me I need to just get out of it.... -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
JessicaR Posts: 467 Joined: 2002/08/12	2003/08/14, 02:47 PM Mutt, I'm just getting back online after dealing w/ a virus and let me tell you, I have the same problem battling depression. It is a constant struggle for me and I'm also very resistant to taking meds having had terrible experiences w/ meds in the past. Exercise helps a lot but lately I've been dealing with a lot of overuse injuries so I've had to cut my exercise down to the minimum and still keep reinjuring my shoulder. Blood sugar was mentioned and I've found it's critical for me to watch my blood sugar by eating every couple of hours - which I know you already do. I also go to my therapy appts and have been seeing a psychiatrist just to monitor me in case I do need to go on medication suddenly. But so far I'm doing okay w/out meds. One thing I really believe has helped - my psych. thinks this is a crock but there is some evidence to support me here and I've had good results - is taking fish oil, EFA's 3-5 grams a day, wich ends up being around 15 grams fish oil, depending on the brand. Look into fish oil as a supplement for mild depression and bipolar disorder if you think that might help you; I really believe it helps. My hb will back me up, too. I really do feel for you, Mutt, I know what you're going through and how hard it is to be there for your family and be a parent when you're in the pits and it's a chore just to drag yourself out of bed in the morning. Good luck to you and I sincerely hope you feel better soon. Hugs to you, Mutt.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/19, 09:38 AM I am doing a whole lot better now thanks for all the kind words and wanted to let you all know it helped! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/08/20, 12:08 PM MUTT, I am so sorry to hear of the troubles you've been having! Have hope, everything will turn out better soon. When a rough ride comes there is always something good around the corner, just have faith. Hope all is doing well now. Take care! -------------- Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2003/08/20, 12:20 PM Mutt you have inspired so many of us. Consider my prayers are with you. BTW there is no shame in meds. Depression is not always a "mental illness". People are learning more and more about the brain and how it is wired in individuals and many times there are chemical causes in the brain for this. So many people have had success with meds. You may wish to try it again.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/20, 01:16 PM Thanks RB and rickyshot, I am much much better! rickyshot, I rather not get involved for now with the psych community (meaning docs and such). They have not helped me nor my mom at all so for now I will deal with it on my own... -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/08/20, 01:51 PM glad to hear you are feeling much better, i know how tough it can be for you as well as your wife. i see it happen at times and its hard to sit and watch and not be able to do anything but give a hug or say i love you. -------------- Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/20, 02:00 PM aww thanks LOL er that was meant for RW right LOL -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/08/20, 02:12 PM yeah, that was meant for RW, but here is a big hug from both of us!! HUUGGGGGG! -------------- Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/20, 02:15 PM LOL aww shucks -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/08/20, 02:35 PM lol@RW. see how jealoushe gets mutt! lol! and I ditto what he said, we are her for you! -------------- Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
asimmer Posts: 8,201 Joined: 2003/01/07	2003/08/22, 06:06 PM Mutt, I have been offline, battling my own irish blackness. I also did the meds route 9didn't seem to help much, cost more money, made me spacey..). Cardio and lifting and eating clean are when I feel the best. All I have to do is overindulge in refined foods and miss a few workouts and down I plunge. Sounds chemical to me, but also sounds like something to be controlled with exercise and diet (like so many things that are wrong with people). Glad to hear you are feeling beter, keep your head up! Remember - that which does not kill us makes us stronger.
tenorsaxmandave Posts: 538 Joined: 2003/01/23	2003/08/26, 09:36 AM Yo Mutt! I’m gone for a month and all hell breaks loose. This depression thing is completely unacceptable. Therefore, you must stop it immediately. Now then, in addition to everyone’s suggestions, might I suggest actively pursuing the humor route. Any/all of the following – available at your local video store – might assist in your recovery: (1) National Lampoon has just released (today) the “Double Secret Probation” edition of Animal House (on DVD). Belushi’s humor never gets old. (2) Any of the Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers (“does your dog bite?...”, etc.). (3) Blazing Saddles. Mel Brooks. 'nuff said. (4) Airplane by the Zucker brothers. Of course you may have your own favorites. These (which I own on VHS and are labeled "therapy") often can pull me out of the most nasty slump. Of course, I’m one sick individual – so your mileage may vary. However, there’s no denying that every once in a while, a good belly laugh works wonders. And when I get my gut moving, it's actually a cardio workout in itself! Chin up my friend. Your Saxman
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/26, 09:57 AM LOL man that is what I mean you alwyas give me a chuckle. No I watch Arnold movies and listen to BB King. But that all sis not work, but I am out of it for the most part. We had 2 deaths to deal with a week apart and the usual car trouble....but I did nto get depressed. The bad thing is that I am outta the gym for at least another month, and I am using food again to fill the black space in my heart (the feelings of depression are defeated by eating a half gal of milk and a package of oreos), and I feel like I am slowly sliding into a hole....but I am not going to let that happen. tonight I will lift and run (weather allowing for the run). -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
tenorsaxmandave Posts: 538 Joined: 2003/01/23	2003/08/26, 10:22 AM Hey Mutt, Did you know that Nabisco makes a low fat Oreo? What the hell's up with that? It's like reduced fat SPAM! Like I always say, if you gotta indulge, baby, go all the way! It's just plain silly to wash a bag of full-fat Oreos down with a diet Coke or 2% milk! Mutt, I'll probably get "boo"ed off of this site for saying this, but man sometimes it feels great to just let go. Given my history, it's clear that I'm no stranger to over indulging. However, I've got to say I've never polished off a whole bag of Oreos! Once again, you've set a record and managed to raise the bar for me! Enjoy for now and hop back on the wagon, buddy. In all likelihood, your body was merely crying out for a mega dose of trans-fatty something or 'nothers... TSMD
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/08/26, 10:44 AM Man a whole package is nothing, that is nothing more than a mere snack! I can eat that plus a bag of doritos, and 3 hamburgers with buns plus 2 hot dogsas well!!! Hee hee I am so bad. Actually that was just once in the last month that I "let go" like that not to bad.....I have actually lost weight and size....I have lost a total of 9 inches since jan 1st. So I am not doing to badly.!!! Thanks for the pep talk!! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
mtlong33 Posts: 114 Joined: 2003/01/28	2003/08/26, 10:49 AM Congrats on the 9", that is amazing. Once again another reason why you should start writing "Mutt's Training Manual". haha:) I don't think I could stay sane if I didnt let go every now and again. -------------- Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
azredhead57 Posts: 1,651 Joined: 2003/04/11	2003/08/26, 03:53 PM The movie that always does it for me is 'BIG' with Tom Hanks. It never fails to make me feel better. Once watched it 12 times in one weekend (after a really rotten breakup). Laughter may not be the best medicine, but it sure makes ya feel better. -------------- ~Victoria~ ...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/26, 01:04 PM I needed to reread this post as things seem to be spiraling out of control. I just found out that my work is not going to use my vacation time to cover my illness and surgery related time off so we lost a couple of hundred from my paycheck. My wife who, since our son turned 1 on the 24th has been depressed had a full blown panic attack at work. I feel like such a failure and well really feel like just giving up. It seems no matter how hard I try I always come up short in regards to work. I hate feeling like this since I always have felt so strong for thelast year or so...now for the last few weeks/months it is all I can do to not curl up and go into a coma. Oh well I guess there isnothing more I can do...what is kind funny in a sick dark humourous way is that I could not even go to a doc for this cause we canna afford it! Makes ya laugh huh?
asimmer Posts: 8,201 Joined: 2003/01/07	2003/09/27, 12:07 PM Mutt, when we were down and out we found out about lots of low or no cost clinics, sliding fee and such. I was on prozac for a long time, and the state paid for most of it. Sorry to hear about your hardships. Maybe we could all pitch in and help you. A dollar or two from everyone here would add up. I think you have helped so many people through times of no motivation and through endless questions about working out, it is time for everyone to giveback. Sometimes all you need is to ask for something. If you want I will post a message, do you have a PO Box? -------------- Challenge + Consistency = Results
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/27, 06:51 PM Just send me a message here or to my aol acct just put Mutt in the subject if ya do. I do not need medication as of right now I have been there and do not want to go back...but thanks for listening to me whine!!! LOL -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
rebekah82 Posts: 29 Joined: 2003/09/25	2003/09/29, 12:34 PM Hi Mutt, I wanted to tell you that I took your suggestion about eating oatmeal and egg whites for breakfast rather than just drink a shake. I had an omelette this morning made of four egg whites, fresh, organic asparagus and white vegen cheese. It was delicious! I made a protein shake to have as a snack later this morning. Since I am new to this site and to weight lifting, I really appreciate the valuable advice.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/29, 12:48 PM No problem I think you will find that eating that way will increase your energy in the gym...while a good choice sometimes I think shakes have too much sugars that give you that "flash" energy. Eating this way will give you a longer energy supply...besides it has natual vitamins and such in it! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
asimmer Posts: 8,201 Joined: 2003/01/07	2003/09/29, 01:12 PM hey mutt, I meant that we could do a fund for mutt. I didn't mean I wanted to write to you at a po box, I meant we coudl flood you with crumpled up dollar bills to help you out. Sounds like you are up again, anyhow. I know what it is like to ride that rollercaoster. Keep up the good fight!
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/29, 01:19 PM No we are ok ( I am just proud enough to not want charity----yet LOL). I am cool just without really working out I am finding it harder to kick the blues away...... -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
jefado Posts: 443 Joined: 2003/04/03	2003/09/29, 02:11 PM Well, I would have sent in a few crumpled dollars for ya Mutt :o) Any time you need it, don't consider it charity....just consider it to be a bunch of people, who care for you, pitching in to keep a friend from drowning.... We all need someone to care from time to time.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/29, 02:24 PM Thabnks for caring that was what I needed the most money we can get but people that understand what I am going thru is the richest thing I have! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2003/09/29, 03:30 PM Mutt I am praying for you. I had depression like that after I went through menopause and was not taking hormones. Tried the natural route with herbs etc but nothing. After taking hormones it was like magic for me. I feel like a new human being. Obviously not your solution but know you are not alone. PS the Pink Panther movies always kill me. I once made the mistake of watching one after surgery. Almost busted my stitches OUCH.
I_Am-aZon Posts: 893 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/09/29, 03:38 PM Mutt: Keep yer chin up buddy - and I would love to send a few crumpled dollars too - in fact, since its Canadian, I guess I would have to send a few more! And it's not charity - its payment for all the good advice you've given. :) I sure hope that things get better for you very soon.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2003/09/29, 03:42 PM Well thanks but yeah I do not THINK I am going thru menopause yet and I think my hormones are ok LOL. Really I am just feeling low not to worry the Mutt does not quit EVER! But I really am thankful for all ya out there pulling for me!! And I do enjoy the occasional Peter Sellers flick now and then but I am a fatihful Mel Brooks fan myself! -------------- Eat More, Drink More, and Lift Harder than you thought you could, welcome to Becoming!
azredhead57 Posts: 1,651 Joined: 2003/04/11	2003/09/29, 05:06 PM Hang in there mutt, we are all here for you. Just like you've been here for us! (asimmer's idea is a good one, if you change your mind.) Have faith. You know the saying 'God does not give us more than we can handle. Sometimes I just wish he didn't trust me so much!' Keep posting and letting us know if there is anything we can do for you and the mutt family. -------------- ~Victoria~ ...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills

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