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2007/05/04, 06:37 AM
Is there any good way for a man to encourage a woman to exercise without stepping into the "Are Your Saying I'm Fat?" minefield? I really wish that myb wife would take better care of herself, and I know that it has to be because she wants to and not because I want her to.
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2007/05/04, 06:58 AM
This is definately tricky. My wife has always been thin, but her eating habits are terrible and she wasn't doing any form of excercise. Yet she couldn't figure out why she was always felt drained and grumpy.:laugh: The trick for me was to find something she enjoyed and to make sure it didn't feel as though I was pushing her into it. We take long walks "because our new puppy really needs the excercise." I talked her into joining me at karate because "she should really learn how to defend herself." The key is to not give up and to try different things. Don't feel that you have to push her to embrace fitness the same way you do. Even if she never lifts a dumbell and has no idea what HIIT means, she can still improve her fitness. Hope that helps.
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2007/05/04, 10:09 AM
Why trick her? Why not just sit down like adults and say "honey I am concerned, I love you and want us to lead a healthy life together for a long time to come. I am concerned that the way WE both are currently going that we may be cutting our time shorter than it could be and was thinking that if we would start doing things that would help us physically that we could not only become healthier but we could spend more time together in the process."
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My Catahoula did it.
I saw a book titled \"Sex for Dummies\" and wondered why
anyone would teach dumb people how to reproduce?
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2007/05/04, 06:37 PM
See GeorgiaGirl, that's why I'm askin' the ladies. I have come to terms with my cluelessness about y'all and have decided to see womanly advice! :)
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2007/05/04, 06:40 PM
If my husband was to sit me down and tell me that i would be up set at first, because the first thing that would run through my head is that he thinks im fat! because that sounds Spoofy to me, but Georgia is right dont trick her, talk to her like a grown up. she will understand.
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Treat others as you would like to be treated they will remember you for it,...and get revenge!
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2007/05/04, 06:46 PM
That's what I'm worried about! I may just need to keep working on my own fitness and hope she decides to to the same.
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2007/05/09, 08:04 AM
Well no woman wants to hear that she looks bigger than normal or anything of the sort, but honesty is better than anything else. My husband and i have the ability to touch on the subject without hard feelings but we have since day one, since both of us are somewhat health conscious. I want to hear it from him sooner than later because the sooner you realise you have work to do, the easier it is to get it taken care of. However, being that i am a woman, my mood varies a lot, so some days if he says anything weight related, i laugh and agree because i was just thinking the same thing, but other days it makes me feel like crap. We are complicated creatures. Good luck!! Also, encourage her to at least check this site out. There are lots and lots of women on here to support her and eachother.
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2007/05/09, 11:11 AM
Steve, I would say the best way would be for you to continue on your fitness lifestyle. Once she sees your results maybe she will be inclined to join.
I know my wife didn't want to touch weights until I started reading posts from here and other sources about gaining muscle to raise yuor metabolism.
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2007/05/09, 11:17 AM
Just to clarify, I'm not saying you need to trick your wife. What you need to do is find something she enjoys and does not feel pressured into. That may not be lifting weights or using an eliptical. It sure wasn't for my wife. Let's face facts folks, there are plenty of other options out there if you are creative enough. There are tons of things you can do, take walks, go swimming, play tennis, landscaping, etc.
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2007/05/09, 02:52 PM
do you ever ask her to join you when you work out?? spending time together is a big plus.
if diet is problem then maybe ask if their is a diet that both of you can go on - you might say it would be best if the junk food wasn't around for you & you would like certain things cooked so you really need her help with that
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Reddy
All people smile in the same language
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2007/05/09, 02:56 PM
Save yourself alot of time...just shoot yourself.
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Quoting from stevehwms:
Is there any good way for a man to encourage a woman to exercise without stepping into the "Are Your Saying I'm Fat?" minefield? I really wish that myb wife would take better care of herself, and I know that it has to be because she wants to and not because I want her to.
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Message deleted by moderator due to unsuitable content for this board.
Charlie
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2007/05/09, 02:56 PM
charlie be nice!!!
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Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack!
I wish everyone would get a partial amnesia and never use 'tone' ever again. (thanks Menance)
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2007/05/09, 03:50 PM
...unless you can run real fast
Just kidding, I have had a slow time at getting to a healthy weight, but it is getting there and as I feel better, I want my husband to...but trying to tell him without hurting his feelings is hard, too, especially since I am certainly not at my best weight yet. He just got his results back from his program at work where they do blood work, etc. and it showed on paper his high blood pressure, his high cholesterol, his high bmi and it gave me the opportunity to sit down with him and talk about it on a more serious level. He said he still isn't working out, but he is going to start watching what he eats (he eats ALL the time and LARGE portions, going out to eat with the guys from work to buffets 3+x a week!!). It is a start....
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Quoting from charlie826:
Save yourself alot of time...just shoot yourself.
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Veda
It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. - Mabel Newcomber
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill
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2007/05/10, 10:17 AM
I just graduated from cardiac rehabilitation, and after spending an hour and a half working out with heart patients 3 days a week, my eyes are opened to how important aerobic exercise & healthy eating is! The heart is one of the few muscles that will kill you if you don't keep it in good shape. Hopefully he'll add a nightly walk with the diet improvements.
Thanks!
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2007/05/10, 12:29 PM
Veda--
Sounds like my ex. I used to try to just get him to walk. When we did actually go for walks, he would casually stroll and get mad at me for walking so fast. When I reminded him that the point was to get some exercise, he would just shrug. We've been divorced for 9 years and since the divorce is has been diagnosed with type II diabetes and now has three clogged arteries. He is really not interested in doing anything seriously to improve his health. Two of my kids live with him and my daughter was telling me she had to drive him to the E.R. AGAIN a few days ago because AGAIN he thought he was having a heart attack. Some people just won't be helped.
I, on the other hand, have been singing from the hilltops about the impact a clean diet and exercise has had on my health over the past couple of years. Maybe it is true that not everyone can lower their cholesterol through diet and exercise, but I wonder if those people are really working that hard. I found out I had high cholesterol in spite of a relatively clean diet and somewhat active lifestyle. Everyone I knew was shocked with my 157 LDL and 243 total. My father also has high cholesteral so I decided it was probably hereditary. Now after really pushing it in the gym and staying on top of my diet it has dropped to 110 for LDL and 197 for total. I thought that was pretty significant and worth shouting about...but people have to want to change and it seems they just have to decide on their own.
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2007/05/11, 12:08 PM
I know that my husband tricked me into being healthy a few years ago, and I could never thank him enough (not that I'm encouraging it, mind you!)! I had put on a few (like 90 lbs!) after my first son, and just didn't care about anything. Like pcorey's wife, always grumpy, and tired, but never understood why, wrote it off as the baby blues! So, my husband (the picture of fitness) just told me finally that he thought that I was spending too much money on groceries buying frozen pizza and prepared foods, etc. and he would grocery shop and do the family cooking going forward, which is great because he's an excellent cook. I was much less offended thinking that I was a poor money manager, than fat and out of shape. haha. So, he ended up spending MORE money (healthy food can be expensive!), but came home with lean meats, fresh vegetables, herbs and spices instead of heavy condiments, etc. and started serving up delicious family meals every night. He also played hockey, and wanted to teach our son, so he started taking the whole family to the ice rink 2-3 times a week which was a lot of fun and great exercise. Once I started feeling the effects of healthy food, and exercise, I was hooked and the lbs. just melted away in no time. I ended up joining a gym for a more consistant workout, etc. I fell off the wagon about 2 years ago when my second son was born and gained about 50 lbs back (darn kids anyway!), but have jumped back on again and am doing well. My skin looks better, my hair is growing faster and healthier, body looks better and I feel 100X better. Good luck Steve. Hopefully your wife can realize the truely wonderful "side effects" of a healthy lifestyle.
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2007/05/11, 12:25 PM
>>he thought that I was spending too much money on groceries buying frozen pizza and prepared foods, etc. and he would grocery shop and do the family cooking going forward<<
This guy should write a book! That's brilliant! Thanks.
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2007/05/12, 04:07 PM
The only difference is....my husband won't walk to the mailbox let alone a casual stroll, lol!! :(
You have done great! That has got to be feeling super to have accomplished that, with willpower and positive attitude you seem to have given yourself a new, healthier lifestyle!! Maybe others can take note!
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Quoting from msmogreen:
Veda--
Sounds like my ex. I used to try to just get him to walk. When we did actually go for walks, he would casually stroll and get mad at me for walking so fast. When I reminded him that the point was to get some exercise, he would just shrug. We've been divorced for 9 years and since the divorce is has been diagnosed with type II diabetes and now has three clogged arteries. He is really not interested in doing anything seriously to improve his health. Two of my kids live with him and my daughter was telling me she had to drive him to the E.R. AGAIN a few days ago because AGAIN he thought he was having a heart attack. Some people just won't be helped.
I, on the other hand, have been singing from the hilltops about the impact a clean diet and exercise has had on my health over the past couple of years. Maybe it is true that not everyone can lower their cholesterol through diet and exercise, but I wonder if those people are really working that hard. I found out I had high cholesterol in spite of a relatively clean diet and somewhat active lifestyle. Everyone I knew was shocked with my 157 LDL and 243 total. My father also has high cholesteral so I decided it was probably hereditary. Now after really pushing it in the gym and staying on top of my diet it has dropped to 110 for LDL and 197 for total. I thought that was pretty significant and worth shouting about...but people have to want to change and it seems they just have to decide on their own.
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Veda
It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. - Mabel Newcomber
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill
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2007/05/13, 01:13 AM
pcorey, you've had 37 posts on here to date and yet you still haven't filled out your profile?????? Let us know some more about this mysterious person.
Steven, no matter what coaxing you try, anything, it will not happen until "SHE" is ready for it to happpen. Unfortunately in most of these cases, especially in dealing with a woman, which I myself can admit, the more pressure that is put on her will only cause her to go the opposite direction. But...by your commitment and exampleship of working out, it will be a greater chance of her wanting to follow in your footsteps.
Good luck! :)
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Bettia
"Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open." - Lord Thomas Dewar
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