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2005/03/10, 05:33 PM
OK to make long story short, my whole family like me is and always has been fairly large. I've had mine under control prolly sense my senior year in highschool. And my mom has went back and forth.
Before she had her fight with cancer, she lost 150 some odd pounds on the atkins diet,then when she had to get on kemotherapy, she couldn't stand the smeel of meats and junk. So she ofcoarse gained it back plus some.......cause she wanted icecream.....milk shakes.....hambergers...kfc etc. Even after that was over she returned to her old eating habits.
She has done weight watchers off and on.....but can't stick with it long enough to see real results. I tell her to excercise couple times a week even if its just a walk, or use my excercise bands..........she uses same excuse over and over again "I need to get some of this weight off first". Like that really matters?
anyways she has now having health problams her cholesteol is threw the roof, she is border line diabetic...and blood pressure is getting high.
Now she is thinking about geting her stomach "rubber banded"( they put a band filled with saline around the stomache to "pinch part of it off" So it can only hold 2 table spoon fulls of food.
my concern is this
1. she bascly starving herself......les than 500 calories a day.
2. could she get a vitamen dificency?
3. I don't think it will teach her anything.....once she gets it taken out she will still go back to the old way of eating, or worse still try to eat what she eats now, while that thing is in her>?
any suggestions on what I should do? or say?
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My drinking squad, has a cheerleading problem!!
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2005/03/10, 07:01 PM
So sorry to hear of your mother's misfortunes. Very sad thing. First off let me say I am happy for you she beat the cancer. :)
As I have preached over and over, these debilitating illnesses are compounded over time with suppressed immune system stemming from diet.(her cholesterol, border line diabetic, blood pressure) all a result of each other.
So, yes to number 1 and especially so to number 2. Without proper nutrition, she can hardly be getting a proper vitamin intake, thus her immune system is going to continue to deteriorate, thus borderline diabetic will most probably become diabetic, high blood pressure, etc.
You need to convince her to eat, and eat good, whole foods, no processed foods. I would recommend you get her at the very least on a multiple vitamin, there are many more she could well benefit from, but it sounds like just getting her to take a multiple will be hard enough.
Once she gets the procedure you refer to in number 3 done, my guess is that she will slowly degrade back to her old eating habits if someone is not there to help her and coach her along. Many folks actually need someone to do more than tell them, you may literally have to hold her hand until she starts seeing progress, this may have the positive effect she needs to keep the ball rolling on her own.
The very best of luck to you Big Andrew, I will say a prayer for her. :)
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If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything....
bb1fit@freetrainers.com
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2005/03/10, 07:26 PM
Andrew, I wish I can help you. You seem to be a good son and I know you will do your best to take care of her.
Ron gave you the best advice. What about her Dr or a councilor?
Stay strong for her.
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Scales are for dead weight: We are not dead yet!
Still trying to find out how to do the Hollywood Free Press.
Ivan
carivan@freetrainers.com
Montreal Canada
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2005/03/11, 04:30 AM
Good luck BA
try joining forces, eat together make this a social event sort of thing and take her out for walkes, slowely get her back to eating and exerciing.
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2005/03/11, 08:33 AM
Hang in there, Andrew.
This is a difficult issue.
My father has health issues and I often feel guilty because I am a personal trainer and I could set him up on a program/eating plan and he would feel a lot better and be a lot healthier.
I have tried numerous times. he always has some excuse, or just fails to start moving.
I got my Mom hooked on weight training and she is stronger than my Dad now, she is doing great.
The truth is, unless they want to change, they aren't going to. I have figured out that my dad is very depressed, he is just waiting to die or something. He refuses to seek counseling or help. He is gradually deteriorating.
I still attempt to bring the conversation around to how much better he would feel if he would go for walks, or eat less sugar, etc. He humors me and then does what he wants to.
It sounds like there are some issues surrounding food/health that your mother doesn't want to deal with. I would think she should start with counseling before she undergoes any surgical procedures. Maybe she can find out why she doesn't think her body is worth feeding healthful foods. Maybe she can figure out what is keeping her from succeeding at her weight loss.
Of course, parents generally think they know more than their children, so I don't know how much she will listen.
Is there a friend or significant other of hers that you could recruit to help talk to her (don't corner her, just casual discussions).
In the end it comes down to a desire to live a better quality of life - and you only get one. It is her decision how she is going to live it. She beat cancer - why waste any more of the gift of time she has been given?
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GYPO (JK)
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2005/03/11, 11:25 AM
I'm concered for the fact that, she has never stuck with anything, she does somthing( diet ) for awhile......doesn't come off quick enough......so she goes off of it. I tell her everytime, excercise it well just melt off, she wont' come to golds cause she said " thats a younger crowd gym"
I'm gonna support her no matter what.......but she always tought me the things in life you want, you have to fight for.......and this procedure is her fighting for anything its a quick fix. To a long term problam.
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My drinking squad, has a cheerleading problem!!
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2005/03/12, 07:05 PM
Andrew,
So sorry about your mom's health problems.
My parents need to get healthy also and they agree with this, but they don't do anything about it. (Unfortunately, they live 2000 miles from me, so it is harder to influence them.)
Keep up what you are doing, be a good influence, etc.
Hang in there.
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2005/03/13, 01:54 AM
Andrew I know what you're saying, my mom has similar problems with weight..and I can't get her to change her habits...
The stomach stapling is kinda danerous also...I am not sure how much you can eat over the day like this....it's more abotu hwo fast the stomach empties...It teacher her to eat very small frequent meals...10 or more a day ...every hour or so....It's about learning how fast it takes ot digest a certain food group and adjusting eating habits...
But yea....it won't teach her good eating habits or force her to exercise....
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2005/03/25, 05:31 PM
You are doing a good job encouraging her to change and become a more healthy person. However, its going to come down to whether she prefers living healthy or staying the way she is.
If she is happier staying the way she is, then honestly, in my opinion, I wouldn't try and force her to change at all. Its not like she is evil for being over-weight. Obviously you don't want her to be unhealthy and would rather her live a longer life, but if she really despises the effort it would take, I say let her be happy.
Good luck though.
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2005/03/27, 04:07 PM
well she decided not too, cause at the seminar......they told her to bascily eat meat, to reduce los of muscle mass I guess, and it helps with getting rid of fat too.
So she decided to go back on adkins instead........she gave up on that......so shes back where she started.
I keep telling her to excercise......says ame thing I told you guys " I need to loose some weight before that hun"......some times I just shake wanna some since into her. grrrrr:angry:
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" The only true eye, is your minds eye"- plato
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2005/03/28, 12:12 PM
BA,
Sad thing - but ultimately it's that damn free will thing - isn't it? :angry:
I have a friend whose mother had an operation as you described above and she lost an immense amount of weight. Her's was non-reversable (I believe). I think for some, it becomes the lesser or two very real evils. Die of obessity related issues or possibly be malnourished for the rest of your life if you cannot eat healthy.
To me, becoming focused on fitness has been a real hard change. One that I like, but radical. I had my reasons. It's a life changing attitude and we probably need our own rationalization to really "do it".
I dunno - tough place to be in - I betcha the farm.
I hope everything is well. Hang in there and support her as best as you can.
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_Shane
I dont have to outrun the bear - just you....
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2005/04/04, 02:43 PM
You might try asking her to go for a walk with you - let her go a couple of weeks on Atkins (I think their web sites talks about adding cardio - you might point that out to her) but let her know that you want to spend time with her & that is something you thought you both would enjoy
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Reddy
All people smile in the same language
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