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2003/04/03, 04:27 AM
I was an obese child. When I turned 14 I started figorusly weight traing. Since then I turned pretty much all of my fat into muscle :D. But I was thinking to myself the other day, is it the fault of the child or parent that a kid is obese? I think its the parent 100%. They are the ones that should teach their kids about propper nuitrition and a healthy active lifestyle, by being a role model. God knows NO kid wants to go through elementary being a "fatty fatty fat fat"! Kids are just uneducated in these areas. I spoke with my mom, who since I was born turned into a fat ass. She tells me "I had to stay home and raise you", but come on now. How hard is it to go for a run around the block, or better yet bring your kid with you? Anyone have any comments/ideas (that I can use to rub in my mom's face)?
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2003/04/03, 09:13 AM
No that attitude is the wrong one to have. I was and still am that fat kid....even though I am 32. I agree that a adult is to blame somewhat, but not 100%. Sometimes the child is just prone to being overweight. But sometimes the adults just fail to realize it till its too late. Not sure which it is in your case, but wanting to "rub it in her face" is just a anger response to your being picked on. It haed to get over that lord knows I am not even now. But to keep that anger going is wrong just try to deal with it and get over it. It is great to hear that you have changed your body, maybe you could use that experience to help other kids that need help in that way....good luck and keep up the good work!!!
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IF YOU CAN STILL ITCH YOUR NOSE AFTER ARM DAY, GO DO ANOTHER SET!!!
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2003/04/03, 11:39 AM
I have to agree with mutt. Instead of being angry and using that energy to rub it in a parent's face, why not turn that into positive energy and volunteer for an organization that deals with children? There are the Boy Scouts, Boys Club of America, Big Brothers/Big Sisters and others I'm sure I'm forgeting.
I say this from experience. My mother was not only a horrible role model, but then she put the blame on me. She still does to this day. I only see her once a year because we are in different parts of the country, and last time I saw her, she so much as told me I was so fat I would not amount to anything. She blamed the fact that I've never bought a house on my weight. I have had that kind of critism since I was a kid. I have no desire at all to "get her back" or rub my current progress into her face. Instead, I volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters and give a deserving child the POSITIVE role model they otherwise would not have.
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~Jennifer
http://www.gwindalyn.com
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2003/04/03, 05:21 PM
I would never rub that in my Mother's face nor in anyone's face. She brought you up, and nobody is perfect. You did a great job in transforming yourself and just feel good about it. Like Gwindalyn says, help other kiddies befor it gets them!
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We must become the change we want to see.
Ivan Montreal Canada
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2003/04/03, 06:46 PM
Durring the first few years of a kids life, isn't the kids identity shaped by the parent..? A child wouldn't be prone to bad eating habbits if the parent wasn't, OR if junk food wasn't available, at all. Like if I had a 90 lbs mom I don't think I'll be obese. The reason I want to rub it in is because, no matter what I say, I wasn't a little fat kid. I was "big". Screw that! I was a fat kid! Its really pissing me off that she will not acknowlege what I was.
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My family thinks I'm on steroids... :D
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2003/04/03, 06:51 PM
Dude I can understand your feelings Trustme. But saying that is like saying since I had a father that was a killer so must I be. Yeah if my family had not let me eat a lot I MIGHT have not been heavy....but that is neither here nor there. Right now you have a choice, you can either let this fester and spoil the rest of your life, or use it to fuel your life let it motivate you to be the best person you can be. Moms tend to neve think there is anything wrong with their kids...some hide from the facts. Remeber that no matter what deep down she loves and cares more for you than you can imagine (untill you have children). Have and find the inner peace to make this a positive.....
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IF YOU CAN STILL ITCH YOUR NOSE AFTER ARM DAY, GO DO ANOTHER SET!!!
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2003/04/03, 08:20 PM
Your mother's weight has NOTHING to do with your own weight. My mother is a petite lady. She is probably 5'3" and 125lbs. My father is thin 6'3" and 172lbs. My brother and I were both fat children.
Just because a parent is a certain way does NOT mean that the child is. I know someone who's father molested her, beat her, and gave her very physically demanding punishments for being "bad". And the "bad" stuff was things like not putting dishes you just washed into the dish drainer in a certain order. She is the most caring, loving, calm, peaceful person you would know.
Your mother does not have to acknowledge anything. It sounds to me like you are wanting someone to blame. You are 16 years old. You are old enough to stop putting your own personal things on someone else. I'm sure your mom could have done things to prevent it. My mom could have also. But she didn't. We can not go back and change the past. All we can do is move forward toward the future.
Stop having the mind set of "Why didn't she do this", or "If she had done that". Instead, have the mind set of "What can I do right now to improve the situation." It's a technique called the Question Beyond the Question.
Mothers love their children UNCONDITIONALLY. They do not see their children's faults. To a mother, their child is the most flawless perfect creature on Earth. It is time to stop trying to get her to tell you that you are not perfect.
Would you rather live your future being obsessed with getting "revenge" on the woman that gave you life, a place to live, clothes, etc. Or would you rather live your future in a more positive way by giving a needy child out there the POSITIVE guidance toward health/exercise/diet you never had?
You are approaching adulthood. At this point in your life, it is time to let bygones go, start to grow up, and get past your own issues.
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~Jennifer
http://www.gwindalyn.com
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2003/04/03, 08:30 PM
I taught preschool for 2 years. In that time I had many obese children in my classes. One of the things we taught was nutrition, not so much from lesson plans, but through the snacks and meals we served. So many of the kids were unfamiliar with ordinary vegetables and fruits. I was always being asked what is this? It's good. I've never had this before. Tell my Mom/Dad about this so I can have this at home. During these times I would ask the kids what they did eat at home. Burgers, Hot Dogs, and Pizza were the top 3 dinner foods. As well as we go to McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King, and the Pizza store on the way home. Parents were not interested in the healthy snack recipes we sent home because they were too much work and those items weren't in there pantry/fridge at home. So I do feel that the parents are more to blame, however, once you are of an age where you can choose the foods that you shove in your mouth - You Need To Take Responsibilty For Your Own Body!
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Lithium64
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2003/04/04, 12:45 AM
Well I do take responsability for what I shove in my mouth. I'm in great shape, kids in high grades fear me :). (cause that's what's important) I'm just saying before I knew what was going on and before I was educated I was raised into bad eating habits. This does not effect my life now, at all. Mutt, I don't think anyone is prone to being fat. It's all a mental thing. How many fat cavemen were there? And haveing a fat parent doesn't mean the child has to be obese, it just says it's OK to be fat. In my mind it's not OK to be fat. It sucks to be fat. I have no problems with fat people, I don't and never have mocked them. They can be fat, just not me. I plan on helping other people by becoming a physical trainer, I also help train my mom sometimes.
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My family thinks I'm on steroids... :D
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2003/04/04, 04:45 PM
I'm somewhat inclined to side with pleyroy. I think obese children (not overweight, obese) are caused by uninformed parents. Children have no say in what they eat or how much they eat. It is up to the parents to regulate their children.
Now I don't expect all parents to become John Berardi, but I think some descretion should be used. There is a man suing McDonald's because it made his daughters fat. The reason? He took them there twice a day and claimed that he wasn't aware that it was bad for you. That is obviously highly irresponsible. In many situations, children carry the same eating habits with them through out life. Not everyone has an awakening like those on this board have had. I think many obese children could have been avoided with a little more care.
I do realize that certain body types are prone to heavy weight gain. I don't expect all six year olds to have rippling abs of anything, just that a little care is put into diet. I think there should be a better push by the government to increase health and nutrition awareness, but that's a whole other issue. Most parents know that McDonald's is bad for a child. Should they cut it out entirely? That'd be nice, but we don't live in a perfect world. Kids like McD's food. But parents should not be feeding their kids fast food twice a day. I don't believe that all fat kids have irresponsible parents, just many of them. However the parents are not completely to blame. Unforunately there is just too little easily available information on these topics. It doesn't make for good headlines - people want to hear about how things are easier than they think, not that it's hard.
Now, as far as you wanting to rub it in your mother's face, pleyroy, you're going to have to bethe bigger man. Perhaps you were fat as a child, and perhaps it was your mother's fault. Your mother probably simply didn't know better, she never intended to make you fat. You have to let it go and move on, perhaps helping your mother along the way.
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"Don't follow leaders and watch your parking meters!"
-- Bob Dylan
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2003/04/07, 02:57 PM
I was always over weight growning up and can't blame my parents because out of five children I was the only one over weight.
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2003/04/07, 03:40 PM
i am 21 and when i was a child proper nutrition meant the food pyramid, which as we all know is grossly inacurate. how the entire medical profession when behind a food plan made by an organization whose primary goal was to encourage the usage of agricultural products is beyond me. a diet as high in carbs as they recommend would lead to obesity in many children, so well meaning parents may have inflicted obesity on their children unknowingly. i am indian so my parents thought our high carb diets were perfectly tuned to the pyramid's recommendations. carivan said the most appropriate response though, no one is perfect. it would be best to get rid of any resentment you have towards your mom or what will happen is frued's "return of the repressed." that could be really ugly.
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2003/04/07, 03:48 PM
I am not saying that parents are not to blame. I am saying that to blame them 100% is wrong..out of 7 children I am the only one that could be said to be obese. Does that mean that my parents only did not watch me? No just that I was the one with a slower metabolism and the urge toeat a lot. pleyroy some people are meant to be fat it is proven that for some there are genetic medical conditions that make it almost impossible to be thin. Is this a license for them to give up? no! The parent has onyl so much control over the child. I know of many that controled their childrens diet, yet the chisl was still obese...why cause they had a need for food and sneaked around ad stole it. What I am trying to say is that in pleyroy case he get out of the cycle of being fat, now he has a choice be angry at his mom or moving on. It sounds like her is doing more moving on(I hope) then blaming......and to the teacher that found out the kids did not know good snacks yes that seems to be the case right now that it is easier to buy pizza and wings then to cook a good meal. In that case I do blame the adults.
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IF YOU CAN STILL ITCH YOUR NOSE AFTER ARM DAY, GO DO ANOTHER SET!!!
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2003/04/07, 05:02 PM
some of it could be genetics, thats where i get my lard ass from but exercise and diet (not to mention attitude) can change that. sure, your mom could have exercised more but its her body and you should worry about your own. i think the parents have some to do with it Ex: what they cook for dinner, if they let you play outside or stay in the house, etc. but they really dont have much to do with it outside of that. like most of the other people that posted opinions, i am the only child in my family out of 3 that has a problem with my weight, and its not even a problem i would just like to lose about 10-15 lbs and tone up. of course im the oldest of 3 and my brothers are only 15 and 8 but they dont have a problem with their metabolism like i do. my mom needs to tone up and my dad hurt his back in construction and cant exercise like he used to be able to when younger but everyone on both sides of my family has a problem with obesity as they get older.
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Integrity first, service before self and excellence in all we do....USAF. Cross into the blue. ~Sarah~
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2003/04/08, 06:45 AM
I believe everyone must take some responsibility. If you are truly obese at say under 12 then you know what parents should have enough control over kids to not let them have that extra food. Parents need to be rolemodels and teach (and learn) proper nutrition and activity. The thing I hate is when parents are "dieting" but they have to keep junk in the house for the kids....no they don't. Sure if they want their kids to have to worry about losing weight later then sure...but why not teach healthy living from day one. Sometimes it comes down to lack of education on both parts. I grew up and active fat kid but my mom always said "oh you're just big like me and will always be" You know what...after losing 90lbs and looking back no...I don't have to be and nether should she. She is uneducated in the world of nutrition....to her diet means salad not healthy, balanced nutrition.
So I think parents need to take part and educate on healthy living forthemselves and their kids.
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2003/04/10, 10:16 AM
I have always had a weight problem. When I was a kid I was considered "pudgy" but it was not my mother's fault. My mother was a very good eater and she made very good meals. My sister and I were only allowed 1 soda per week and even then we had to split a 16 oz soda on the weekend only. We did have kool-aid but mostly tea or water. I would take my allowance money and go buy candy!!! My friends did it an so did I, my parents had nothing to do with my eating habits. All they provided in my size was the genes and that comes from my fathers side of the family! You are young and still rebellious, you will feel different as you mature.
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Gramma
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2003/04/10, 12:13 PM
My parents never taught me to eat right. My mom doesn't even eat right. A typical menu for her is...
breakfast-coffee
snack-coffee
lunch-crackers
snack-coffee
dinner-cheeseburger
yeah...real nutricious. I even remember us stopping for Doritoes and Coke freezes for LUNCH when I was young. ICK!
Well needless to say, I have pretty much always had a problem with my weight.
I remember when I was about 12, my mom was like if you loose 20 pounds I'll buy you an expensive outfit of your choice. She didn't help me at all. I was 12, I didn't know how to exersize or to eat right. All I knew that if I could loose weight I would get a treat. Now that I look back it sucks that my mom did me that way, because instead of trying to bribe me into doing something I knew nothing about she should've been putting healthy foods in the fridge and taking me skating and for walks-which would've been better for us, and which would've worked. I don't blame my mom for anything because now I am old enough to find out the info. on my own and I can blame her for being the "fat kid" in grade school, I can't blame her for the rest of my life.
... I do know that I will do everything in my power to teach my kids how to take care of themselves.
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2004/01/14, 12:45 PM
I'm looking for a workout program for my daughter's friend; she is only 11, and would be in the overweight-obese category. She really wants to do something to, in her words, "lose some weight and tone up." Obviously, the first thing is nutrition and exercise to get her weight to a healthy level; the "toning" is nice but not necessary at her age. I don't want her to lose so much that it's unhealthy, considering that puberty is coming soon, but she is at an extremely unhealthy weight. She is also eager to learn how to exercise. She is somewhere around my weight -123 - and I'm 33 years old!
Thank you for any guidance you can provide.
Moca
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2004/01/14, 01:28 PM
alot oh it has to do with finacailly and just being a kid..............when i was little i would not anything green, or a bright color.........i though spinish, asperagus, brocoli was nasty, my mom tired to make me but all i wanted to eat was the good stuff........bread, potatoes, ceral, cake, doughnuts, hwne ur lil thats all u want is the " good stuff" and its either that or most kids won't eat! So whats a parent to do? let u starve? HELL NO! she'd give me whatever to make me happy and atelast know i wouldn't go hungry..................and don't say u wasn't like this cause all kids growing up hate green stuff.............besides when ur 12 do u want ur mom making u work out and shoving protein shakes down ur throat, hell i don't liek them now i just drink them cause i know i need to cause whey and water is not the best tasting stuff...........and also unless u come from a well off family meat is quite expensive! very expensive, hell it coasts in tennessee almost 15 bucks for 2 6 oz ribyes at the store................. ur mom brung u into this world and did the best she could with what u would eat at the time.......nwo that ur tastes have grown to a variety of things u can eat more differnt foods.........
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---andrew.......adversity causes some to break, but others to break records!
LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR!!
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2004/01/14, 02:17 PM
I was the same way bigandrew, I didn't want to eat anything but "the good stuff", but my parent didn't really give me a choice.
They would make a healthy balanced dinner for the family, and we chose to eat it or go hungry. And my parents were VERY strict about this, you eat this or you don't eat period.
I guess during this time I learned about what was good for you to eat vs. what you want to eat.
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Mike
Work smarter, not harder.
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2004/01/14, 03:24 PM
Pleyroy.
In response to your original post:
I do sometimes get quite irate when I see juveniles wadling around a store sucking on a carbonated suger loaded soda. I am angered by because I fear that they aren't recieving the correct nutritional coaching from thier parents, but what really alarms me is the number of obese teens that I see that have the ability to comprehend dietry sensibility and choose to ignore it. Having said that..I was overweight, obese in fact and I let it pass for years. As an adult I should have known way better, well now I do.
On reflection for children I think it is fair to say that the parents are responsible, however corporations that sell us the crap that causes us to gain weight are ultimately the culprits and should be held responsible. Marketing has taught us to want and beleive we needs goods that we really don't. Food items are no exception. I am of the opinion that food items should not be advertised and if they are they should be strictly controlled, and I am not a facist, nazi, control freak or whatever, but honestly think that in the main fast food, prepackaged food etc is misrepresented with many nutritional truths being hidden from us the targeted consumers.
And that folks is fodder for another debate.
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2004/01/14, 04:32 PM
hey like timon said in the LION KING " YOU GOTTA PUT UR PAST BEHIND YOU" and the monky said " the past does hurt, eaither u run from it or learn from it" the past shapes who u r today.....u wanna be a trainer right?
well u have somthing many trainers don
t have , a past life being obese, i hate it when lil scrawy guys try and tell me how to lose weight( unles highly educated like many of u guys" these lil guys have NEVER had to try and lose weight, so use ur past to benifit you and future generations.......
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---andrew.......adversity causes some to break, but others to break records!
LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR!!
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2005/02/07, 03:56 PM
I hate to say it, but my mother is very responsible for my weight troubles. I do take responsibility for them now and still love my mom no matter what! She is my best friend, but her bad guidance lead me down the path I am on today. I have two kids of my own and I am trying to get them healthy without making the same mistakes my mom did. example:I am a big build girl with large bone structure, I don't care if I had a stomach by-pass I would still be larger than your average girl, height and structure wise. I got that build from my dad. :) My mom when I was growing up use to tell me not to eat breakfast and even wouldn't buy breakfast foods. Then she cooked only fried foods for our late night dinners.Kept tons of sugar loaded snacks in the house for my step brother who was thin as a rail, which naturally I slipped around and ate in private, because I was told big girls didn't need to eat sweets. She was very discrimative toward my eating and my brother who was served tons of food. I now know I was not eating enough protien and real food to sustain my larger structure causing me to crave foods or binge eat when opportunity arose. I am learning to move thru all of this now. I want my kids to control their weight but I do not deprive them . I find ways to give them sugar free good stuff the best way I can. So they don't go to school and at snack time look at other kids stuff and binge out or feel deprived. Which brings me to another topic. Schools are making our kids fat too. I can control my kids eating a lot at home but the schools have way too much fatty and sweet stuff! They have greasy hamburgers and french fries every day available for kids who don't want to eat regular food. ice cream machines and slush machines in the cafeteria too, for an extra charge. I say that stuff shouldn't be allowed in school. Someone is making a profit off of feeding our kids unhealthy junk! Ok getting off my soap box now... :0):)
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2005/03/18, 12:04 PM
I agree with Melinda, I'm still in high scool. I am pudgy, and my parents have always tried to help me with my weight problem, my mother became ill and began to gain a lot of weight, she's always dieting, and when she gives me problems about it I get very offended, my father is very skinny, and yet he eats a box of cookies a night. I must say that I would never do that, but I also blame it on schools, the school system (at least at my school) has pizza everyday and french fries, that's it. And the snacks that they serve are all chocolate or potato chips. Yet now they complain about how all of the kids are becoming obese. I don't blame my problems on anyone but myself, I used to be very actie in sports and suddenly I just stopped. Then I became a couch potato and the farthest I would walk was my car, These problems are my own, and now I know what needs to be done and I will do it. That's all there is to it, people need to realize that it's their life to live not someone elses. Tomorrow is gone. and today is here.
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