Group: All Else Lounge

Created: 2011/12/31, Members: 42, Messages: 22740

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Need help please

Sempai
Sempai
Posts: 447
Joined: 2002/06/06
Canada
2003/01/02, 08:38 PM
Here is my problem my wife is addictided to fast food. McDonalds or Wendy's ect. 6 to 7 days a week. I have been finding this hard to deal with. Not only because the food is not good for you (Big Bacon cheese burger super size fry) every day. But because it seems the only time we have a meal together is at one of these places, and I dont want my kids eating there all the time either. When I go I try to eat as healthy as I can salads grilled chicken ect. hoping that she will try something else but no its always the same meal. I have refused to go and not let the kids go (boy was I popular). I would come home from work early cook a good healthy supper she comes in with McDonalds guess what the kids want. We have talked several time about it all I get is you eat what you want I'll eat what I want. The funny thing is this all started the same time I started to work out and try to eat right. She has been supportive of me in my work outs my Martial art training and comps. just not the diet. I have left things around the house articles about eating properly high fat and the results. she is even gaining weight. I have not mentioned that one we have been together 19 years I have learned what not to bring up. Does any one have any suggestions I am at my last resort.

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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember the ark was built by amateurs, The Titanic was built by professionals.
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2003/01/02, 09:08 PM
Dan, congrats on the 19 yrs of marriage and kids.On the other hand, when you go to the grease pits, leave the fat off of it. No condiments like the sauces. Bring home the food ingredient list from the arches and let her look at it.
Maybe when she sees what is in those foods it will turn her off of it.There is also a magazine out now called Fitness RX great short aticles for women/men.
Don't deprive your wife or the kids from the odd outing to the grease pits.
Oh ya,my wife and I have been married 20 yrs she started going to the gym last year , but still likes her carbs. I refer to her as the Queen of carbs, and she knows it.LOL
All I can tell you is if she doesn't start to look after herself and the kids now, meds for high cholestrol and/or bp medication might be in order instead of vitamins!
Maybe let her read this and other posts.

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The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, it is too far to walk back! Franklin P. Jones

Ivan Montreal Canada
bb1fit
bb1fit
Posts: 11,105
Joined: 2001/06/30
United States
2003/01/02, 09:57 PM
That's a tough one. By experience, trying to push someone too hard to change sometimes has the opposite effect. She bascially is going to have to have had enough. It is a real shame that your kids are being brought up to eat this way, the early nutritional years are so important to the lifestyle. All I can say is keep doing what you are doing, dropping subtle hints and such. When one day she has had enough, she will change. 19 yrs. of marriage is to be commended. Maybe you can just sit down one day with her and talk like best friends. Let her possibly know if for no other reason, think about the eating habits the kids are getting. Boy, wish I could be of more help. Best of luck to you.....

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The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary!
Lumina20
Lumina20
Posts: 966
Joined: 2001/10/31
United States
2003/01/02, 11:12 PM
yeah that's tough one. my mom always gets extremely pissed whenever my dad mentions working out, though neither of them eats well. sometimes my mom will get really motivated and just start something up; maybe just leave her alone about it and try to work on the kids subtlely (makes things that taste and are relatively good for them). good luck!
Sempai
Sempai
Posts: 447
Joined: 2002/06/06
Canada
2003/01/03, 11:00 AM

Thanks, I will keep trying the subtle hints and working on the kids


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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember the ark was built by amateurs, The Titanic was built by professionals.
7707mutt
7707mutt
Posts: 7,686
Joined: 2002/06/18
United States
2003/01/07, 11:19 AM
Hey nice to hear from you again here! I have somewhat the same problem. I can not get my wife to eat better, I have gotten her to eat more protein and cut some starches and carbs out. I am better off as she realizes that I need to lift and eat this way as a means to stay sane. All I can say is to keep on it low key and hopefully she will come around. It also seems that maybe she is a little resentfull or jealous of your drive for this. I would really try talking to her, take her out or something and see.

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IF YOU CAN STILL ITCH YOUR NOSE AFTER ARM DAY, GO DO ANOTHER SET!!!
erirvine
erirvine
Posts: 196
Joined: 2002/11/20
United Kingdom
2003/01/18, 05:25 AM
If she is a stubborn person trying to tell her what to do will almost always have the opposite effect – I know I am one of the most stubborn people I know. Try making arrangements to eat out at a restaurant or at a take out place where the food is not quite so abysmal. Your profile says you live in Ontario, have you got a pita pit near you? or you could try subway / mr sub. But don’t do it as “I’m right and I am going to make you eat healthy” come up with another reason for going the once, and then make it a regular thing. Try coming up with a happy medium to diffuse the issue, at the moment your view points seem to be getting more polarised.

You know your wife by know, you might find a “I’m sorry dear, I was making to much of an issue out of it, it just that that these places don’t have anything I feel I can eat” and “lets go out to _____ tomorrow, my treat to say I’m sorry”, or “I want to feel included in the family at meal times, can we find somewhere that has something to help my diet so I can eat with you and the kids” will work? Hope this helps.
houseofdiet
houseofdiet
Posts: 161
Joined: 2003/01/07
United States
2003/01/18, 11:19 AM
his is a wife's perspective, but with out as much experience (I've been married for a year but we dated for about 4 years before that so...) Traditionally, taking care of food and cooking is a "womans" role so she may feel that you are putting down her parenting/care giving skills by telling her how things should be done. As in she is reading your suggegestions as 'your not doing a good enough job around here' comming home early and cooking "healthy food" may have been interpruted in the same way. i would suggest another pow wow with the wife and tell her just that... come up with a compromise (I'll cook on these nights and we can go out on these other nights. I want to do this because I feel its important that our family eat better, you have been doing a good job at I wnat to help us to work together blah blah blah.

I really think their might be some other issue that she is reacting to by not respecting the food decision so maybe take a weekend away from the kids and get back in touch with each other...

Of course you know her better than I do... and have more experience but don't forget that we women tend to read into things a lot.
Hope this helps