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2002/02/26, 09:21 AM
I hate to use this site for relationship advice, but I'm not sure what to do. My girlfriend is slightly overweight. I honestly have no problem with this, I fell in love with her because she is caring and understanding and... I could go on. Now she's lost some of her confidence in herslef because of how different we are physically. All I want is for her to be happy. She says she wants to lose weight for me, even talked about using that 48 hour celebrity diet stuff. How do I convince her that her weight really isn't a problem? And if she decides she wants to lose weight, how can I help her without putting pressure on her? btw This is a distance relationship, so we only see eachother every couple weeks. Thanx in advance for any advice.
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2002/02/26, 10:51 AM
Andys, believe it or not, positive, verbal reinforcement goes a long way! Just continue to tell her you love her just the way she is. Whether or not she chooses to change the way she looks, you'll always be there to support and encourage her when she feels she needs motivation.
Good luck!
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**_Robert_**
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2002/02/27, 11:03 AM
good advice Rob..
if she sees that you love her for HER.. then maybe she wants to do it for herself? That is where it start anyways.. if you are going to better yourself in any degree.. then it must be for yourself not to please the others around you. Whether people accept you are not is NOT your problem and you should never make it that.
But if your girl would like to start a fitness program.. then ft is a great place to start.. including all the motivation and support you can find.
Good luck..
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.o0 Arnold 0o.
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2002/02/27, 09:40 PM
Both of the above comments are great. I agree with Arnold about her starting a fitness program. Sure, she has motivation here at FT, but she also has you whenever she is not logged on. I know you are not dwelling on her physique as the sole basis of your relationship, but maybe she sees herself as someone she does not want to be (physically). If she is unhappy with herself, you need to support her. Simply tell her that you are happy with her just the way she is; but if she wants to try to lose weight, tell her that you will help her follow a safe and effective plan to achieve her goals.
Oh, and if she tries to use that Hollywood diet crap, do whatever it takes to get her to stop. Its useless.
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--JBennett
"I've up-ed my intensity.... now up yours!"
"Pain is only weakness leaving the body."
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2002/03/04, 02:14 PM
I think great advice from even the guys here....wow, a lot of sweeties! Loosing weight for anyone has to be self motiviated and the desire has to be from within. I've never had a huge weight problem but just five pounds can even be a pain. Too bad you have distance between you otherwise to work out as a team is wonderful (something I am doing now..and love it). I would suggest being supportive and that if she ever wants suggestions/help - you would love to help! Pumping up the emotions feels just as good as using weights to pump up! She just needs to understand it all takes time...many people get to a point where nothing is changing but eventually like a seed planted and watered.......you just eventually start to form...to take shape and grow in a positive manner. I read stuff in Shape magazine about overweight women who started a program and wow.....made some drastic changes. IT JUST TAKES dedication and time. MAYBE, if she would like (after you ask) you would get her some health fitness magazines like the Shape or Women's Fitness (great!) You see success stories and it helps make you see it works!
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2002/03/04, 06:08 PM
First off, I agree with the other posts. If your girlfriend wants to lose weight, she needs to do it the right way, not the MIRACLE way, because it won't stay gone. If she has access to a computer, you should really encourage her to sign up for a program, that way she has tons of support. I love this program and have recommended to everyone I know that is into fitness. Hope that she starts to have more confidence in herself....Just continue to support her.
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Lisa
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2002/03/04, 08:16 PM
Thank you for all of the advice. She's regaining her confidence, and she's taking a positive attitude about becoming healthier. I absolutely love this site. Where else can i get GOOD advice on lifting and improving my relationship. Thanks again.
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The only easy day was yesterday
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