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2005/02/07, 01:25 AM
I'm doing a sociology report for school and wanted to get some feedback from the people on this board, who are into health and fitness and who seem, for the most part, even tempered. So, here's the question:
I remember reading a post a while back about defending your wife or girlfriend during an altercation, so I guess this is a spin on that. Let's assume your a peaceful guy and haven't had problems calming situations in the past, but there's the possibility of a situation going awry.
First off, there is the idea that some guy, whether it be in a bar or at a party or whatever, can enter jackass mode and start trouble with you or your girl or your mother or whoever. Imagine some guy grabing your mom's boobs or something. Funny thought, but after you're done laughing, and your mom is being violated, what next? Let's say he's in a position to whip your ass and prevents you from leaving. You get your ass whipped, that leaves him the ability to grab some more mom-boobs. How can you handle this situation without getting the beat down, without getting your mom's boobs groped further and while maintaining your dignity?
Also, let's say you've got a friend who hates the world or whatever, and occasionally when he drinks, he gets obnoxious, wanting to fight everyone even you. The guy knows karate or whatever and can whoop you, but he won't allow you to ignore him or leave him. What do you do?
Let the floodgate of answers open:
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2005/02/07, 04:44 AM
for the first one, a bar stole will come handy :cool::cool:
next I would leave that friend, getting my ass kicked every time he is drunk....its not worth holding on to
my 2p
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2005/02/07, 07:33 AM
Hmmm. My friend was groped at a bar and I groped (not nicely) the fellow by his gnads and he stood down and left. he and his mates (scottish skinheads) probably could have kicked my a**, but the suprise and bravado of what I did made them think twice.
What are the other people at the party doing? Are you alone with your Mom at party (that raises some questions in and of itself...)?
As for the friend - after a few cauliflower ears from a buddy I had, I decided the wise choice was not to hang around those idiots anymore.
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Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
-- E. M. Forster --
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2005/02/07, 08:16 AM
well done asimmer, that will get any man (regardless of size) on his knees :big_smile:
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2005/02/07, 09:27 AM
If there was a guy who groped my girlfriend or mom, I would not get my ass whipped. That is all there is to it. I would not try to leave, and go the peaceful route, I would just whip his ass right then and there.
The second dilemma, I can relate to because I have a couple of those type of friends. I usually will just joke around with them because they usually mean no harm. But if it gets out of hand and they want to fight me then I will just shut myself down towards them, give them no interaction at all. And when I do this they have nothing to fuel their fire and they will eventually cool down. It may take a long time, but noone is just going to punch their friends just for the hell of it. And if they do, do as the others say,leave because they are not a friend.
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2005/02/07, 03:11 PM
Well, I just threw the mother part in there because socially, no one is supposed to le their mother be harmed or disrespected. Granted I don't even wanna imagine the desperate slob that would grope my mom, but I figure it gets my point across... I'm trying to find what is appropriate behavior in this situation. Some will go nuts and fight regardless of the proposed outcome, some will try and squirm their way out of it, regardless of how much the guy grabs mom's boobs. I'm thinking about the guy in the middle of the two extremes and how he should act.
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2005/02/07, 03:45 PM
In my opinion there is no "middle." If your mother or significant other is being disrespected physically or verbally, you either beat the crap out of the guy or you become chicken and not even stand up for your mom or girlfriend because you are too afraid to get a little hurt. From my previous post you can tell I prefer the first. Which choice you choose shows your character, your a man who is willing to risk yourself for the respect and dignity (not to mention safety) of your woman, or you should not be considered a man, because you would rather have your woman be disrespected and possibly have harm done to her because your too scared. Anyways if you beat the crap out of the guy he will never mess with your woman again, and possibly learn a lesson and gain a respect for woman.
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2005/02/07, 04:44 PM
you need to re-evaluate your definitions. Anyone who does that is not your friend to begin with. Alcohol just decreases inhibitions, meaning the guy already has those intentions/desires and just refrains from them because of social repurcussions. You don't go here, but you also have a course of action by bringing a battery lawsuit vs him and make him pay. He's committing a willful tort vs you or your mother.
Also depends on the type of actions. Mild misappropriate actions/verbal exchanges can be solved with humor or a serious non-aggressive discussion. Take the friend aside and explain to him that although you value his friendship, you will not tolerate any more of such behavior. You obviously do this in a non-threatening manner, so he doesn't get the idea that you mean beating him up vs stop being friends with him or sue him.
You also miss a big component, most people who study martial arts also learn to wield great amount of control and discretion. Majority of people knowing how to fight, may do so only in rare occassions drunk or not. ie you punch him first for the insult and he won't have self control to back down being drunk....being assertive/aggressive can also overcome most size disadvantages....you grab some1 by nuts(excuse me for the lack of the better term) and make them scream uncle, doesn't matter how tough they are....
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2005/02/07, 04:50 PM
My mother - I wouldnt know how id stop myself killing the guy, Im fiercly protective of my mom and I owe her so much for things she has done for me. My G/F - If i knew then what I know now they can do what they want....
As for mates doing things like you say when drunk then ill have a word when they are sober, its one chance and one chance only to sort yourself out. Ill support them all the way because they may have issues they cant sort out and might need help. I wouldnt just give up on them.
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2005/02/07, 04:53 PM
1st off I wouldn't be in a bar
2 I wouldn't take my mom to a bar
3 I wouldn't take my girlfriend to a bar
most peopel that go to bars are single are they not? So why would I take someone with me to a place predominatly occupied by drunk, single, horny men? Same for a club
movies, dinner etc are so much more fun than going to a bar and getting drunk......just my 2 cents.
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My drinking squad, has a cheerleading problem!!
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2005/02/07, 06:42 PM
Crispy- The idea isn't whether you are chicken or not. The idea is figuring that you have an opponent that will beat ya down, and after he beats you down, who knows what he will have the ability to do to moms or wifey. I also am not infering the, "he ain't gonna kick my ass" attitude cuz, face it, everyone can get their ass kicked. It happens, regardless of size or training. Protecting mom's is the idea, but not getting your ass beat is partof that. Yet, you can't let her get disrespected. Wheres the middle ground?
Menace-I hear ya. I saw an exapmle of the restraint you talk about in the subway the other day. Some big, crazy looking russian started with some spanish dude, or maybe vice versa, I missed the start, but I was walking by as the Russian was imploring the spanish guy to take a walk outside the station (I guess losing thier fare in the process, a strong $2 pricetag) to fight, and the spanish dude, who was shorter than the russian guy, stood up to him, eye to eye (or shoulder at least), but told him he wasn't gonna leave the system to fight him cuz he had nothing to gain from it. Eventually, the russian backed off. Unfortunatley, I know there are times when he wouldn't.
BigAndrew- I agree with you there. Never take mom and her boobs to a bar... or girlfriend and her boobs either... maybe your mother in law. Give the old broad a thrill. But I digress.
I wonder if there are any easy ways to disarm a situation like this with minimal damage. I know the nuts-shot is a good one, but you actually need a good shot at that. If the guy is wearing baggy panys or something, you're not gonna make full impact. Maybe eye gouging or pressure points or something?
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2005/02/07, 07:03 PM
Um, Andrew? Honey? If you could just email me the names of those bars, I'd sure appreciate it.
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Anni
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In my head, I am out of my mind....
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2005/02/07, 07:46 PM
I knew everybody would overanalyze this question to the point froshman gets no answers. :)
1. If someone crosses that line with my mom or g/f, the thought of losing a fight would never enter my mind. I'd start with hateful trash talk and let the situation progress (or digress).
2. I'd immediately get away from my friend no matter what I had to do, and hope to talk about it with him when sober. If that doesn't work, they're not my friend anymore.
3. Andrew....you're in college and you wouldn't be in a bar?
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2005/02/08, 10:31 AM
Froshman think about it man. In the situation with your mom our girlfriend there is no middle ground, there is no diplomatic way to settle it. If my mother or girlfriend is being disrespected by another man then I am gonna whoop his ass. Even if the guy is capable of kicking my ass in normal situations, this is not a normal situation. I will have the adrenaline or whatever flowing and nobody is going to get away with disrespecting my gf or mom period. I am not a fighter at all, (I have been in two fights my whole life and these were when I was in high school, because a guy was groping my girlfriend at a party) but this is basically the only thing that will set me off enough to fight. Mess with me all you want but mess with my girlfriend or especially my mother better prepare for a whooping if she has not taken care of it already. That is a point that is not in your question. Women are usually plenty capable of taking care of themselves pointed out nicely by asimmer. So if she doesn't then it is the responsibility of the man to take care of the situation, and talking it over is going to do no good. Sorry that I am ranting, but I just don't understand how someone can think there is a middle ground in this type of situation.
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2005/02/08, 10:42 AM
agree crispy01
just unleash some fury on the guy
worry about the consequences later
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2005/02/08, 10:44 AM
lol, that is the only way to go in this situation.:angry:
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2005/02/08, 10:51 AM
In the trunk of my car is a set of golf clubs. Nuff said.
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If you are full of excuses, dont bother with me. If you are ready to make some sacrifices for the better we will get along just fine. I hate EXCUSES!!!!!
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2005/02/07, 09:05 PM
I agree with Andrew...didn't think about it...but wtf would you take your gf to a bar? much less your mother?...
mzakal there are things like house parties...much more likely and widespread in college....also Andrew is an athlete so he could be avoiding alcohol and places that distribute it....there are better places to socialize I would think than a bar
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2005/02/08, 01:27 PM
1. Act as if you are going to talk this problem out as gentlemen. Calmly look him in the eye and start to explain your side. About after 5-10 words, hit him as hard as you can in the nose. Then do what you want.(In Hec's case, yell FORE!!!)
2. See number 1.
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2005/02/08, 02:01 PM
I'm thinking you're in a position where you either choose getting your ass kicked and leaving your gf or moms more vulnerable, or you decide to walk to avoid further violations. Pride vs. safety, I suppose.
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2005/02/08, 02:05 PM
If it is obvious that the guy could beat my ass I would pretend like it didnt bother me. Perhaps even laugh about it with him. I would then go out to my car and wait for him to come out. He would have to come out sometime. Once he came out I would hit him as hard as I could with a golf club. It is not logical to think that the guy would keep you trapped in the club so that you could not get away.
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If you are full of excuses, dont bother with me. If you are ready to make some sacrifices for the better we will get along just fine. I hate EXCUSES!!!!!
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2005/02/08, 02:34 PM
lol you are one seriously Hilarious Man Hec!
DX
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2005/02/08, 02:44 PM
if some touched my mums boob (dont laugh dammit, this is serious stuff) i would bottle them in the face
if my friend was the kirate kid i would not go near them when they were drunk.
i do sociology, and it really boring, this sounds pretty interesting.
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wax on, wax off
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2005/02/08, 03:23 PM
This is exactly what I am not understanding from you frosh. Are you saying that if a man was groping YOUR mom or girlfriends breast, or saying things that he wants to do to them, that you are going to stay back and consider if you can take the guy on, and if not you are going to walk out on the sleezebag so he can do it to more innocent ladies? HELL NO!!! I hope that you would take immediate action with the adrenaline taking over your body and whoop the guy's ass, whether it be hands, feet, nutgrabbing, golf clubs, bottles, what the hell ever as long as the guy get what he deserves. And if you do happen to get your ass kicked, hopefully your mom or girlfriend is smart enough to go get some more help and go to safety. So with kicking the guy's ass you have got your gf or mom out of danger, and hopefully teach the guy a lesson. Sorry ranting again, but it is just blowing my mind that there is a guy who may want to take the peaceful route if his mom or gf is being harassed.
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Quoting from froshman:
I'm thinking you're in a position where you either choose getting your ass kicked and leaving your gf or moms more vulnerable, or you decide to walk to avoid further violations. Pride vs. safety, I suppose.
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2005/02/08, 03:26 PM
I haven't taken sociology yet, but it does seem prety interesting, if this is the type of stuff you learn about.
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2005/02/08, 04:08 PM
hec you play golf :cool:
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2005/02/08, 08:53 PM
Most of sociology is boring, but I decided to use a psychological angle that works within the sociological perimeters of social acceptibility and expectation.
This is not a personal account. If I had to answer the question, I figure if someone grabbed my mom's boob, the guy must be a lonely bastard. If a guy grabbed my girl's boob, I don't think I'd be overcome with Incerdible Hulk adrenaline like crispy. I don't expect any better from people, so there would be no shock and outrage, only observation and reaction. However, I do somewhat agree with him that this approach is probably the better one to take if you decide to fight. I watched wrestling as a kid, so I guess I would piledrive the guy. Then I guess I could climb to the top of the bar and drop an elbow or something, I don't know. Maybe end with a figure-4. I might use a club if I had one. Maybe I would lick him. Whatever it takes to distract him enough for mom or girlfriend to leave, then I can handle myself accordingly. I don't mind getting roughed up, but i need to make sure that my loved ones are safe regardless of the outcome. If that means taking a walk, I would. I have to assess the situation. Even if I need to fight, I need my mom and girl to leave while I'm doing it.
By the way, it doesn't necessarily have to be in a bar or club. It can be at a clam bake for all I care. Create your own scenario.
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2005/02/08, 09:10 PM
.........I was thrown out of a bar... in new york.....an no I don't mean, I was walked to the door, i said "good night all".......4 bouncers hurled me out into the street like I was a fresbee.
---quote------ron "tater salad" white
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My drinking squad, has a cheerleading problem!!
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2005/02/09, 08:00 AM
froshman, you would lick him?
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wax on, wax off
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2005/02/09, 08:12 AM
I can see that happening... You are in a bloody fight and then like the guy... In most cases that will provoke him even more, wouldn't it...
Unless I am completely out of touch this whole fighting thing…
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2005/02/09, 09:58 AM
Big Andrew....They said that I was drunk in pub-lic. I said that no, I was drunk in the bar. They threw me into pub-lic.
Ron White is awesome
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2005/02/09, 03:12 PM
Yeah, the dog part of that act was hilarious. "PLEEEEAAASSSSEEE just one more time!"
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2005/02/09, 03:21 PM
If any one tried to touch my moms jugs she would rip off his head and shit in his neck.
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2005/02/09, 04:57 PM
Iwouldn't seriuosly lick him. I'm exagerating. I might bite him though. Then the figure 4.
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2005/02/09, 05:07 PM
Mayne you could get your mom and girlfriend interested in each others boobs?? Then nobody fights.:big_smile:
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I am not Charlie
Charlie
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2005/02/09, 07:34 PM
It's true Charlie, everybody wins in that situation.
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Anni
*******
In my head, I am out of my mind....
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