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2005/05/23, 09:00 AM
OK...background first. Just had 10th wedding anniversary last Thursday. Well every since my first son was born (8 years ago) I put on too much weight and wasn't able to take off my wedding ring. Well after my 2nd son I put on even more. So I've been debating for 3 years now whether to have it cut off and resized. However last night after Softball practice and during a shower I finally got it off my finger for the first time in 10 years. I don't think the wife was too thrilled about this, but I put it on my necklace and assured her it wasn't going anywhere.
So while I saw this as a goal of mine...I think my wife has big concerns that I'm going to leave her after I get in shape. Is this unfounded or should I keep giving her a lot of reassurance that I'm not going anywhere. She's joked about it which is why I think she has some concern in the back of her mind...but I always tell her I have no plans to go anywhere.
Either way...whoohooo...I reached one of my goals! Gonna leave it off for a month or so and let my finger grow back and lose the weight I want and have it resized then.
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2005/05/23, 09:06 AM
congrats sstump! :big_smile:
i think she will come to the realization that this has nothing to do with your relationship. keep reassuring her, and assuming you have a strong relationship, i think you have nothing to worry about. getting the ring off was strictly a physical goal of yours, and has nothing to do the state of your marriage. you might just have to go the extra mile to show you still care greatly for her, and make sure she realizes that your health is important to you as well :)
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2005/05/23, 09:22 AM
Congratulations on reaching your goal.
Your wife may not be secure enough in the relationship. You may never know this without just coming out and asking and you still may not know for sure. She may just be joking. From my own experience if she has had previous bad relationships of her own choosing or grew up without a caring environment, does she criticize herself or give up or not start things because she thinks she won't do them good enough? Those might be some pointers in the right direction.
Sometimes no matter what you do you cannot ease her mind. If this is a problem she needs to start by liking herself first, which she may not be to open to as you first have to want to change and to realize that you have a problem to begin with.
I am just a person with no higher education except what I have been through in life. Its hard to say from what you said if she really has a problem or is just joking around.
I tease my husband all the time about leaving me for a younger woman but it is just teasing as he is 15 yrs. older than me. And I know that he loves me above just about everything else, except our kids:big_smile:.
But anyway those are a few things to think about, probably you have nothing to worry about.
Again here's to your success and keep going at it. Does your wife workout with you, get her involved if she doesn't.
Leslie
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