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2004/05/25, 04:16 PM
well I am very disappointed in myself. Every week this happens. I can be doing so well and it all slips away so fast. I caved in last night. Today i have been eating tons of candy bars etc... Why do I do this? I really don't understand. I have tried everything I know. I'm not sure if I even know what normal is anymore. My mind all day is on food and eating and dieting and losing weight. It never ends. Never a break. How does one retrain their mind? How does one find other interests that overtake their compulsions? I am sorry for this rambling but I am lost and need some direction. I don't even know how to eat like a normal person. I either eat too few calories or too many. I am sorry i ever started dieting. It has taken my peace of mind and given me hell.
~des~
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2004/05/25, 04:20 PM
Des have you seeked counseling on this? I think that may be a good thing in your case. There is NOTHING wrong with getting help. And if any one says different have them get in touch with me, I'll set em straight. I hope you are ok, just take it one day at a time there will be set backs there always is, just get up and keep going! Asimmer here has a quote on her posts if you get knocked down 7 times get up 8.....
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LIFT HEAVY! BECOME STRONG, LIKE BULL!
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2004/05/25, 04:20 PM
Des, don't be so hard on yourself. Each day is a new chance to make things better. You posted this today, and you say "Today I have been eating tons of candy bars" If you can acknowledge this, then try to eat something else. Make it a concious effort. Retraining how you think is hard. One thing that helps though, is don't concentrate on losing weight and dieting. Focus on BEING HEALTHY. Instead of asking yourself if something fits into your diet, ask yourself " Is this healthy? Is this good for me?" If you start thinking of things in those terms, you can start to think more positivly, and soon doing things that are good for you will make you happy(might even enjoy them a little) :big_smile:
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2004/05/25, 04:26 PM
I am right there with you. I don't think dieting will ever be easy. There are a lot of good post on this site to help you with the "right amount of calories." But, you know your body better than me and I can only say to listen to your body. It usally tells you what to eat. I think if you are having cravings you shouldn't fight them. It is just your bodies why of telling you you need a little more than what you are giving it. I love cravings. Just remember that staying fit and getting in shape is a life long commitment and you have to take the good with the bad. My suggestion to you is to just take a break and eat what you want and until you are back to your old self again, start back up and hit it that much harder. Remember if it was easy everyone would be fit. You gotta work!:love:
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2004/05/25, 04:36 PM
that is the thing. The harder I try not to focus on my weight...etc... the more i end up doing it. I hide the scale and then i keep getting it out. Some days I feel great, like I can do anything. and other days I am like a puddle of jello with no will power or resistance to what I know is wrong. I have tried herbs, vitamins, eating 6 small meals a day, eaeting 3 meals a day, staying off sugar/white products, etc...Everything works for a while and then i have some kind of brain fart. The only time I don't have this problem is if I allow myself to just eat whatever I want. The only problem is that when I do that I gain 20-30 lbs and am overweight. I just want to be normal, is that too much to ask? I don't know how to listen to my body anymore. I have abused it too long.
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2004/05/25, 04:39 PM
Well then here is something to try. Eat whatever you want, and I mean WHATEVER, but only eat when your stomach growls, and stop eating the second you feel full. Maybe that will help.
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2004/05/25, 04:46 PM
It's a roller coaster. It really is. Just eat! Eat then worry later. As long as you have the will you can loose fat. That is all it is really. Loose FAT! You'll get through it. Just take some time off. You can still go to the gym and workout. Better yet, hop on a bike and throw the headphones on and just go. Get lost and maybe you'll find yourself...
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2004/05/26, 01:19 AM
Des, the first thing you absolutely must do is stop bashing yourself. That is not helpful to you. It's difficult, but when you begin to feel the control slipping away, the least helpful thing you can do is to let the voice in your head tell you that you are a bad, or fat, or ugly person. That voice doesn't really know you and you need to tell it to be quiet.
The second thing is do NOT purge. When you purge it allows you to continue the binge. No matter how overwhelming that urge is, do not give in.
While you are busy doing those things, take a deep breath and then try to pinpoint what it was that trigged the urges. Being able to identify situations that exacerbate the binging will empower you to either avoid them or give you the time you need to make a conscious decision about how you are going to handle it.
You have some control, you just don't realize it. At times you may not be able to control the urge to binge, that's a fact. But you get to decide what you are going to binge on. The voice doesn't get to decide, Des gets to decide and that is a very important thing to know.
Get a good therapist who is experienced with bulemia. Really smart people get assistance and you are very smart. Our brains are very complicated and for whatever reason your brain has temporarily abandoned it's skills for coping with stress and anxiety. It's picking on you instead of addressing the real stuff. With a little guidance from a good therapist, those skills can be put back in place.
:love:
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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