I'm really finding it hard to get some motivation. It's only been a couple days since my decision set in stone. Of course, I've had this goal for years and years, especially after getting engaged.

I started a diet, but couldn't stick to it. I kept giving myself excuses.
"The food is gross"
"I don't have time for this"
But the biggest excuse I gave myself was stress.
"I'm too stessed to diet!" 

Then I got married being the biggest I've ever been. 

That was in November. I felt so beautiful on that day. I knew all eyes were on me and I didn't care. The mirror plays tricks on you that way because when I got those photos back, I really broke down.

I felt betrayed, like how could anyone let me be that big and walk down the aisle? How come no one talk me how awful I really looked? I am absolutely done looking this way. 

That's easier said than done.

What I'm lacking is motivation. I know if I could just have one moment where I actually feel like what I'm doing is helping, and I can see the difference... I just need that to happen. 

So here we are: Day 1

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Comments

• Cermakovia 2012/01/05
  I am sure you looked beautiful to everyone else! Just because you were bigger doesn't mean you can be beautiful! Especially if you felt beautiful, I'm sure all everyone saw was your happiness. That being said I totally understand what you are saying. I do the same this with pictures, I look at them and think do I really look like that? Look in the mirror and think no I don't. I second joining a group, talking to people who are in the same place you are, helps a ton. They will have tricks and tips that you may not have heard of yet. They can also give you that extra pep talk when your motivation is flagging. The first week is always the hardest, after that it only gets easier. For motivation I have a picture of "mini -me" from when I was skinny up in the kitchen, you can also join a group like "bringing Sexy Back" where you weight in every Monday. It will keep you on track if you are accountable. One day at a time!
• george 2012/01/04
  Hi there.. joining freetrainers is the perfect start! I would strongly suggest you visit our groups and find one that suits your goals - and once you join don't be shy and start posting. Others will jump in.. motivation, encouragement is a click away. Best of luck - stick to it!