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Hard to see women differently

rchugani31 Posts: 15 Joined: 2002/10/18	2002/10/18, 10:28 PM I find it hard to talk to a beautiful woman in the same way I would talk to one that is not as good looking. I know that is shallow, and i am by far not a shallow person. But I seem to have trouble in conversation with them because when I disagree on thoughts, I feel like I can't express it like I mean it since other guys around me might just go along with her since they can get in good with a fine chick. I hope someone understands. I want to look at them as regular people and be able to go through conversations feeling good about myself. Help!
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2002/10/19, 11:04 AM yep, I know what you mean, I am 46. After reading your comments that described me up until 10 15 yrs ago. I had a hard time with the sharp looking women, to the point it was intimidating and they used to control me during business meetings etc.... I finally realized that they are all equaland some just care about their looks and body as well as brains more than others. Its the same for guys too. We are all human. I once was told by the president of a large american company "we all put are underwear on the same way in the morning" I think that did it for me. Train Hard
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2002/10/19, 11:50 AM Perhaps some comments from the lovely ladies in here will help. DP
mandre Posts: 212 Joined: 2002/04/23	2002/10/19, 12:39 PM Take those beautiful women off of the pedestal. They too have insecurities like anyone else. The feelings you get is nervous energy, use that to your advantage. You just might find that you have more in common then you thought. Asking as many questions as you have is great. To sum it all up when you recognize what your weaknesses are and start working on them they become your strengths. Here are a few pointers to help. Look toward doing things that make you happy. Do things that you know you are good at. Start taking one weakness at a time and work on it every day. A smile is the best. Start by smiling and saying hi to a few strangers a week. Most people will smile and say hi back. If they don't, do not sweat it. They may have difficulties or are shy. Look up things such as self-respect, self-esteem, confidence, conversational skills and assertiveness. You are the only one that can allow people to control you. Never ever let someone make you feel that you are worthless. You are not. You have just as much right to be here as the next person. As far as love is concerned you will meet that wonderful woman. Love is not controlling or demeaning. Even the best marriages have faults. Communication, self-respect and respect of others will keep the fire burning. Take care and keep your chin up. Life is not easy. You control your own happiness not someone else. Start being happy today and count your blessings. You already have more than some other people. :) Melissa -------------- Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. - -- Aristotle
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2002/10/19, 06:08 PM wow mandre.... Do you EVER make sense!
mandre Posts: 212 Joined: 2002/04/23	2002/10/19, 07:22 PM ============ Quoting from carivan: wow mandre.... Do you EVER make sense! ============= :) uh, not sure if I should take that as a compliment or I did not make a darn bit of sense. LOL If it did not make sense I will clarify whatever is needed. Let me know. :) :) Melissa :) Melissa -------------- Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. - -- Aristotle
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2002/10/20, 08:11 AM Ahhhhhh Melissa, I read that as a compliment. I personally can't see how it would be interpreted any other way. Nice explanation Melissa, thanks. Very intuitive DP
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2002/10/20, 11:20 AM Absolutley, that Was a compliment.
mandre Posts: 212 Joined: 2002/04/23	2002/10/20, 12:40 PM Thank you carivan and DP. ;) blushing! LOL rchugani, I am speaking from personal experience. Although mine was with men. My problem was not fear of failure but fear of success. Using this type of approach improved all aspects of my life. Take care and next year when you take a look back you will see how far you have come. :) Melissa -------------- Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. - -- Aristotle
rchugani31 Posts: 15 Joined: 2002/10/18	2002/10/20, 03:33 PM Thanks Melissa