Every other week I find myself saying,” I'm going to do this. Yes, I am really going to do it. I will stick to the plan, keep myself pumped and DO IT!”“It” is...”It” is so many things. It's eating and cooking healthier, staying positive about my appearance and my inner-self, it's losing weight and keeping it off! It is going out with my son and not getting tired or out of breath! Going out without thinking that this cold day is crazy humid and hot then figuring out ohmygosh- that's just me.But that motivational voice in my head always turns sour. I begin the cycle of doubt until I'm binge eating and watching late night infomercials on the hottest new workout, crying because my butt wont ever be pretty. Eventually, I will get up. I will attempt to hop around and do the insanity/zumba/10 minutes and you'll look great routine that the impossibly energetic muscular form on TV is showing me until I collapse and throw the remote across the room. The most exercise I'll get while I'm in “the mood.”This time, I don't want to do that. There's this need within me to get “it” right this time. To redeem myself of all the failed New Year's resolutions, the drunkenly made birthday wishes of waking up thin (and possibly rich, lol), and of all my broken promises to myself. I know I am capable of getting off my lazy, unmotivated butt to jog because I've done it before. I KNOW I can eat healthier and think positively because I have done it before. I know I can do this.
I just don't know to to keep myself on this path. Until I find out how, I will not give up. Every failure is a chance to dust myself off and keep going.
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