00:15
As of late, my sleeping schedule has been a bit off, but it'll do, for now.
Ever since 2012 started, I've been trying to motivate myself on getting out of the house, and exercising. It started off that I would work out Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays - doing one hour of fast-paced walking around my neighborhood. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it in myself to continue even that. With finishing school, looking for a job, looking for an apartment, AND looking for a car, I've been really distracted and stressed. That, in turn, left me tired and unmotivated to want to get out and just... Walk.
I'm disappointed in myself for not even doing that. My boyfriend, Michael, is 160lbs and muscular. Not crazy mucular, but just right. He's at a healthy weight and he's finished with school and has a job. It's bad for me to be a little envious, I know, but I just can't help it.
SO, here's my situation.
I've been overweight for most of my life. No, it's not genetics. It's just me, and the habits I became accustomed to when I was little. Granted, I'm not as... Large as I used to be, but I should be a bit... Smaller. Especially for someone of my height. Being only 5'3" and as heavy as I am is terrible. Not only do I look awkward, but my joints are really starting to show that my weight is becoming too much for me to keep going on as I have been. I've been the EXACT SAME WEIGHT since my freshman year of high school. First of all, that's pretty sad considering the fact that I'm overweight. Secondly, it makes me wonder how exactly, that's possible. When I met my boyfriend in 9th grade, I was VERY shy because of my weight. But because of my attractive personality, Michael saw past my body and straight to my mind and heart. Sure, there were some rough patches like any other relationship, but we fell in love. (That rules out emotional eating)
It wasn't too long before Michael got worried about my health (or overall physical appearence) once he realised how much overweight I really was. Needless to say, he stuck with me and tried to help me out.
I've gone on ridiculous diets and followed the latest weight loss tricks on the internet and on tv. I'm too poor for a personal trainer or nutritionist, so I'm pretty much on my own. I'm good with that.
So, here are my thoughts:
Maybe, just maybe, if I feel like I'm not alone and not everyone is laughing at me, then maybe, I can be more motivated to get out and exercise.
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