Well it has been 12 days since I became single against my will. I have done the crying, the begging and now I realise it is time for me to move on and no-one can do it but me. I am now down to falling apart about 3 times a day which is better then it was last week where I fell apart every 20 mins or so. Today I started on an exercise program that I had devised myself from a fitball broucher, will probably not be able to lift my arms tomorrow :-) So I decided to join FreeTrainers.com to help with exercise choices and hopefully some interaction with normal people.
A little about me: I am 46 years old, have 2 boys 18 and 14. I am a support worker in Drug and Alcohol Rehab in Mackay Australia. I love my job and it teaches me something new everyday. I do shift work so sometimes it is hard for me to get to a gym but  I think this on-line program will help.  I guess I have lost myself over the years, not really knowing what it is that makes me tick and purrrrrr, so now it is time to do that. I was with my partner for 12 years and loved him very much and will/am missing his support, our talks and our life together.
During the breakdown of our relationship  I have lost nearly 6kgs so now that I have kickstarted it I want to keep it going.I don't want to be a skinny person as it does not suit me, but would like to be able to wear fashionable clothing and feel sexy again. I have plans for the end of my journey as a reward for all the hard work I know I will have to put in.
Being positive is important to me so each day Iam going to try and find something positive to say or do: Today I created a gym playlist that makes me move and the most positive thing I can say is that I am here, I am alive and today is one step closer to my goal.
Take care people and be good to each other <3

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Comments

• NewSunrise 2012/04/10
  Hi Rayegod, yes it appears you do have to lose someone to find yourself, I know after all the pain goes (if it ever does) there will be light at the end of the tunnel, its just the journey there that really sucks hey. I have spent the last 12 years being a mum and a partner, always putting the needs of others before myself so now is the time for me. I had a crap day today where I wasn't coping at all, came home from night shift angry and hurt, did a really hard work out, went for a walk came back home and got drunk all before 10.00am sad hey, that most definately will not be happening again because all I got out of it was a headache lol. So lesson for the day alcohol does not cure heartbreak :-) and tomorrow is another day x
• Rayegod 2012/04/09
  Your flog was the first one that I read. I'm recently single myself and it's really hard but I know that I can get through this. It's seems that you have to lose someone to find yourself. Sounds weird to me, but that's where I am right now. I gained weight from sitting in front of this computer 24/7. What a waste. Now, I'm going to get busy and get my life back on track. I can't blame anyone but myself for this situation. Good luck and take care.