I went to a gym for the first time in my life last night. Aside from one class I took last week at Cindy's gym. When I got there I didnt have a clue how to use any of the equiptment. I got on an elliptical and after pushing several buttons and feeling like a total idiot I quickly got discouraged. I asked the manager to help show me any of the equiptment so I could do something. He was busy for 10 minutes, I wouldnt have minded waiting but sitting there watching everyone else fit and confident was bringing on the anxiety and before I knew it my eyes were watering and I decided to just quit and go home. I felt like an idiot. Halfway to my car the manager stopped me, begging for just one more minute. I decided to suck it up and go wipe my face up in the bathroom while I waited. I didnt want to quit, i didnt want to give up. Im tired of being obese, Im tired of hating who I see in the mirror. I know who I am, my soul is loving and kind, my intentions are sweet and honest...but when I see myself on the outside, none of it even matters, as shallow as it is, I hate myself. He showed me how to use the elliptical and gave me a water. I started to feel better and worked hard. I took full advantage of the help and as tired as I was and as sore as I was, I just kept going. 50 minutes in he came back and told me to take a break from it and he'd show me how the other equiptment worked, allowing me to do 2x10 reps at each machine while he explained how they worked and what they were for. He answered all the questions I had and by the time I had left I felt much more confident and motivated all over again. I want this for my image I want this for my health but the pushing point that got me up off the couch to do something about it was the video I saw for Tough Mudder. I'll work as hard as it takes to be joining Tough Mudder this summer in Oregon, the bonus being my life and quality of life will expand in the process!