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Nervous in the gym...

TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/06, 02:35 PM Hi ladies!! So, my husband and I joined a gym. We are both doing a ft program. It's going pretty well. Problem is, I'm super shy in the gym. I realize that NO ONE is paying attention to what *I'm* doing, but I can't seem to let go and run as hard as I need to, or peddle as quickly as should, or God forbid it's *MY* turn to lift weights. I would love an "all ladies gym", unfortunately that's not an option for me. My husband and I work out together, so I'm not scared of the weights... just don't want folks to see me doing it. I have a notion that since 80% of those attending my gym are already fit and trim that I stick out like that big fat sore thumb. Hopefully this makes sense to someone else and you can tell me if this will pass (we've been going only 2 weeks) or if I will need to achieve some sort of weightloss in order to feel like I belong? I appreciate any advice or just knowing that someone else once felt this way. Thanks!! P.S. Please note, I *did* search for topics similar to mine and found none. If this has been discussed previously, a link to that thread would also be appreciated. Thanks!! Julie
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/06, 02:41 PM It is totaly normal and I still get shy in a gym after 12 years. Just go in and do your thing. Good luck! -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/12/06, 02:45 PM I am thinking about joining the YMCA this month but the main obstacle (besides the cost) is my nervousness. I agree with you 100% but I know that it is all in our head. Just go for it.
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/06, 02:50 PM Oh thank God. I was so worried it was just me!! I really do guess it's all in my head. I've been not wearing an IPod or anything like that. Just me and my husband doing our thing.... Well, he does HIS thing and I 'sort-of' do my thing til I catch someone looking at me, then MAGICALLY my water bottle needs re-filling or something. Perhaps if I wore headphones or something to take me 'out of my head' it would be better? Focus on music and running instead of on "dude on the squat machine was looking my way'. Gonna give it a shot. Atiger.... if I have to suffer through public humiliation on the treadmill... so do YOU!:big_smile: The Y has a program for reduced rates. Give them a call!
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/12/06, 02:56 PM I wished they were reduced - here it is $80/month for the family - mp3 does help you tone out everything else - I hope to be the guy in the squat rack (only not looking at others)
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/06, 02:58 PM Oh? I read on the YMCA website that they offer sliding fees sometimes. That you just have to fill a form out and they make a decision on what would be affordable for your individual situation. Sorry! Maybe I misunderstood what they were trying to say. You'll get there ATiger!
frnchfry81 Posts: 301 Joined: 2006/12/02	2006/12/06, 03:00 PM Hi Julie, I too had still have the same problem. But I get nervous where ever I go when new people are around even still at the grocery store I feel like people are always judging me, but as I have gotten older I have come to realize that there is only one who can judge me. Please don't let those skinny people get you down everybody has there own faults just because they are skinny does not make them better then you. At least you are there trying to do something good for your self. Be proud of that. Just Focus on your goal. You can do it girl.
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/06, 03:04 PM Awww thanks Frenchy! That made me feel all warm and tingly inside. ;) You are right though... I'm sure they didn't all emerge from the womb with rock hard abs and tight little hineys. They probably were right were I am... a little soft and saggy in the middle.... and they had to work to get the results I'm so envious and self-concious about. Thanks again!! Oh! How goes the cookie cravings today? Better than yesterday?
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/12/06, 03:04 PM I am always the one that watches people on the dance floor so when people say Noones watching I know that it is not true. I feel the same about the gym
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/06, 03:06 PM Ahhhh Tiger!! You had to ruin it for me. I know, too, that they ARE indeed watching, but it kills me to not know what they are thinking. Think I can trade my IPod for a mind-reading machine??
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/06, 03:26 PM No you are correct the Y offers financial assistance based on income. -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
yadmit Posts: 4,670 Joined: 2003/10/05	2006/12/06, 03:31 PM ============ Quoting from texasjulie: I have a notion that since 80% of those attending my gym are already fit and trim that I stick out like that big fat sore thumb. ============= Julie... remember about 99% of those 80% started out unfit and untrim. t -------------- I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click* Be here. Live. Love. Hope. Now. Faith. Believe. You. - Keith Urban They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol
sstump1 Posts: 1,227 Joined: 2005/03/20	2006/12/06, 04:00 PM I felt the same way...and if you've been going for 2 weeks then you're probably just about through it. I recall it was 2-3 weeks before it pretty much melted away for me. Just so you know I am a people watcher and I do look at people...so if I'm the one your scared of you should know I have more respect for the people that are out of shape (like I used to be) and stick with it then those that don't. So if you aren't there in a week you'll never gain that respect...if you are in 2-3-4 weeks then you will and it won't be an issue. Hang in there...and make sure that you're pushing your workouts and hard as you can. Or just picture everyone else in they're underwear.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/06, 04:13 PM Hi Tex....I have alot of the same issues...and just getting out there and doing it seems to be the only cure.I haven't been to the gym since my husband got out of the military...but when I did go I always wore headphones and a ball cap pulled way down low...my husband and his friends used to tease me and call me "super star"...like I was hiding fom my "public"...but it made it better for me...personally I never got over it completely...but the stress wasn't as severe.
frnchfry81 Posts: 301 Joined: 2006/12/02	2006/12/06, 05:26 PM Hey julie Glad to help. COOKIES WHERE? Just kidding better today I Called in sick so I have no COOKIES in my house so it wouldn't do me any good to crave them. But work I swear they are out to make weigh 500 lbs, so much junk there everyday. I work in a school and you would not believe the food they feed these kids and then wonder why som many people and our kids are growing up to be obese. Okay got off subject alittle. Hope your workouts go good. Keep us posted on how your doing.
frnchfry81 Posts: 301 Joined: 2006/12/02	2006/12/06, 05:27 PM Message deleted by moderator due to unsuitable content for this board.
Reddy Posts: 597 Joined: 2003/09/11	2006/12/07, 10:24 AM Hey if you see them looking at you - smile really big & ask if you are doing it right. If they don't respond then you know they weren't looking at you but you were just in the way of their eyes & they are thinking about what they are doing & not you. If they do respond then you may get some great advide or make a new friend(&I think some friends will help you feel better about working out- you know they want to feel better about themselves since they are there too, right) -------------- Reddy All people smile in the same language
sstump1 Posts: 1,227 Joined: 2005/03/20	2006/12/07, 11:54 AM There's a guy at my gym with a really bad lazy eye...I never know if he's looking at me or the other direction.
jaytori129 Posts: 657 Joined: 2006/11/14	2006/12/07, 12:24 PM lol stump! Realize everyone in the gym first and foremost has made the right decision they are all there trying to get fit....remember that in the bak of your head. So when you catch someone looking at you your subconcious isnt saying "oh god hide" its saying "wow they must be checking me out" "look at that hottie" "wow I wish I had her confidence" and FYI Y does offer based on income but my family only makes about 40k a yr total with 2 kids and they lowered it to only $60...ummm also the mp3 player MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE...especially in cardio you turn that up and tune out the world and just focus on keep going for me i could barely go .6 miles without throwing in the towel...with my mp3 player im done with my 2 mile course before i know it -------------- Jason Fox 6'1" 380lbs Weight Goal 300 by april 2007
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/07, 01:36 PM Reddy, KC, Sstump and Jaytori... I appreciate the advice and giggles! You are all correct! I took headphones last night and watched (of all things...) Good Eats while I did my cardio work. As for the weight lifting portion-eh-I'm still nervous about that, but I totally think THAT has to do with the stigma that it's 'just for boys' and that 'girls can't do it'. It'll go away sooner of later! Maybe when I get strong enough to kick the boy's hineys for staring at me. LMAO! Thanks again guys! I couldn't have picked a better group of folks to go through this journey with! I appreciate all the help and advice and knowledge! You all ROCK! Julie
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/12/07, 02:11 PM Time definetly makes a huge difference. I was very self concious working out in the "big boys" gym for quite a while. Now I feel like I have squatters rights (pun intended) and feel offended if some "newby' is using "my" equipment:) Remember, no one is judging you, if anything they probably admire you for having the guts to "play with the big boy toys":) -------------- Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. -------------- The harder you fall, the higher you bounce
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/07, 03:07 PM I had felt the same when I first started out in the gym at 24 hour fitness. I used to first walk by the weight room and glance in...lol and keep on walking, gradually curiosity daily had me going by and looking all the time until one of the PT's there, Beautiful man might I add, nudged me in and said, "They don't bite.." LOL! He then decided to take it upon himself to instruct me on how to use all of the free weights, which I still think are the best today, and proper form for exercises and trained me for 3 months at no cost. We ended up and are still very good friends. Don't be afraid to ask someone for assistance, they are willing to help more than you know. Good luck and just remember years down the road when you see that doe eyed woman looking around confused, go and offer assistance because you yourself were there. :big_smile: -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
TexasJulie Posts: 21 Joined: 2006/11/29	2006/12/07, 03:32 PM Raven--- I don't know whats the matter with me today but your post made me tear all up! That was so nice of that man to help you out like that! What an awesome guy. Thanks for sharing your story with me!! I really appreciate it! Ugh, I'm still teary eyed. The holidays and hormones do God-awful things to me!! LOL!!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/12/07, 03:55 PM Here's a tissue sweetie...it's all good. -------------- Bettia To be motivated, motivate others!
wrestler125 Posts: 4,619 Joined: 2004/01/27	2006/12/08, 11:57 AM ============ Quoting from 7707mutt: It is totaly normal and I still get shy in a gym after 12 years. ============= Maybe if you stopped working out in that tutu... -------------- Iron and chalk.
conan_0822 Posts: 441 Joined: 2006/11/23	2006/12/08, 12:12 PM I would guess it would get easier if you went at the same day each day. People tyoically work out at about the same times every day, so you'll start to get familiar with the people around you.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/12/08, 12:52 PM But steve i look so nice in it! -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! Warning:Deadlifting going on! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/12/08, 01:30 PM That's a good point conan. I go to the gym on my lunch hour and see pretty much the same people everyday...it's gotten to be almost comforting. I actually get concerned when I don't see one of the "regulars" for a while even though I don't know any of them on a name basis and rarely say anything more than a nod or smile. Come to think of it, they're probably wondering where I am, since I've not been in over a week:)
slorbets Posts: 205 Joined: 2006/04/07	2006/12/09, 09:53 PM If your nervous in the gym, buy yourself a couple of 5lb weights, and practice various workouts in your home. Once you become more familiar with a workout routine, you will become more confident in the gym. No need to feel nervous, just go, and work hard. You will get used to it, and the results will pay off!! Good luck!
sstump1 Posts: 1,227 Joined: 2005/03/20	2006/12/11, 09:35 AM I'm the same way as you fotw...you get to be on a first nod basis with these people, then you worry when you don't see them. It's kind of strange.
christal086 Posts: 155 Joined: 2007/01/06	2007/01/18, 03:35 AM i used to feel like that so instead of going crazy and leaving i just smiled and said "HI" if someone was looking at me now i nearly know everyone there which is another obstical all together because now it seems like i am at the gym to socialize and miss working out because people are always talking to me guess you never can win eh!
bcaron Posts: 3 Joined: 2006/01/10	2007/01/21, 07:28 PM It's natural for anyone to feel nervous when first going to the gym. Don't assume people are thinking the worst, often it's quite the opposite. The people I admire most at the gym are the ones who have the most work to do...but they are there! That puts you in a place that the large majority of the population won't go.