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2007/12/18, 01:05 PM
Losing weight is all in the mind.
The more I contemplate my own situation and read the situations of others, the more I realise the above statement is true. Forget about the mechanics of actually losing weight or increasing fitness, forget about calories in and out and cutting down on saturated fats, forget about 30 minutes of exercise per day. All those things are the methods that are physically used to make a difference to our body?s appearance and efficiency. Everybody, absolutely everybody (excepting those with severe medical conditions) can make those changes that impact positively on our bodies. The question then becomes ? why don?t we?
My background is in management, and I am training in Neuro Linguistic Programming, cognitive behavioural therapy and coaching in order to pursue a career as a professional coach.
There are a number of things I have learned which apply to many people that I?d like to share in the hope that someone can make a breakthrough.
Potential Performance
We all have the potential to be and do anything that pretty much any other human being can do. (Of course there are exceptions, but we?re talking about general human potential). The person who is overweight and unfit has the same potential to be lean and active as anyone else. There is a gap between the words potential and performance above, and that?s quite intentional, because where we potentially can be, and where we actually are is very often not the same!
What causes this gap? In coaching it is often referred to as ?interference?. There are many causes of interference and in order to get as close to our potential as possible it is necessary to minimise them.
What interferences do you have between your potential and your performance? Maybe some you can remove right away simply because you have become aware of them. Some others are sneakier though. Some of the sneaky ones are the ones you put there yourself. I?m referring to negative or counter-productive thoughts.
Does the following thought sound familiar?
?I just can?t lose weight, it doesn?t matter what I try. I don?t have the willpower.?
That is a negative belief creating interference between your potential and performance. So, where do these negative beliefs come from?
Self 1 and Self 2.
In the fantastic coaching book The Inner Game of Tennis, Timothy Gallway refers to a tennis player to muttering ?Come ON! Just keep the ball in!? to themselves. Just who is talking to whom, he asks. He refers to them as Self 1 and Self 2. Self 1 is the ego, the thought driven, conscious, ?parent? figure. Self 2 is the subconscious, the body, the child in the relationship. Self 1 is often very critical of Self 2, nagging and berating and telling Self 2 it is useless, can?t do anything right.
Imagine a relationship where one person is constantly criticising the other. How would the other feel? Unsure, useless and weak. Think about your own Self 1 and Self 2. Is your internal dialogue supportive or criticising?
Self 1 adds credibility to some of the negative or harmful beliefs you may hold about yourself. There is a structure to our reaction to events that we don?t even think about.
It?s easy to remember, it?s called ABC.
A ? action
B ? belief
C ? consequence
A situation or ?action? has no emotional value itself. It is our reaction to the event that gives it an emotional charge. What most of us don?t realise is that there is a point at B where we can choose what happens at C, we can choose how we react emotionally. Most people jump right from A to C.
Action ? over eating jumping straight to a consequence of feeling angry, sad and weak caused by a belief that we should be mentally stronger/slimmer etc.
Over eating on its own doesn?t make you feel any of those things (it is emotionally neutral, it?s just a fact), it?s the belief held that creates the emotional consequence.
Have a think about situations where you feel negative emotionally. Break them down into the ABC structure. What is the action, the event? What belief does that highlight that you hold about you? What emotional consequence is there from that belief?
Start to look at events with a little more distance, just notice them rather than charging them with emotional values. Once you have identified negative beliefs, challenge them!
We also have a tendency to generalise situations into facts about ourselves.
?I ate too much at dinner.? Becomes ?I am weak and useless and I?ll never lose weight.?
Eating too much at dinner is a fact. It is neither good nor bad, it just IS. It is the emotional baggage at the B stage (fuelled by a gleeful Self 2) that creates the emotional consequence.
These negative beliefs generated by the emotional response to events then become facts. ?I can?t lose weight.? There's the interferance.
So what can we do?
Firstly realise the gap between where you are and where you could be is caused by interference. Identify what causes the interference and actively work to remove it.
Very often the interference is caused internally. If that?s the case, change the dialogue between Self 1 and Self 2 to be more supportive.
Simply notice events rather than adding emotional pressure to them.
Become aware of the negative beliefs you hold about yourself (ABC) and challenge them.
With the interference minimised as far as possible, the gap between potential and performance is reduced and we get closer to our potential as a person. Once the mental blocks are crossed, the physical acts of going to the gym and eating right are simple. It?s doing them that took all the effort!
There is an awful lot in this subject, and I?m just touching the surface of it here. If anyone would like more specific details on any of the areas, or extra practical exercises to overcome and challenge negative beliefs or procrastination please just yell and I?ll be happy to write it up.
It really is in your mind, once you get that right the rest is easy!
Jon
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2007/12/18, 05:08 PM
BINGO! I agree 100% and I would love to hear more, send it my way, Jon, that is absolutely the biggest struggle to overcome, our own brains! Thank you for the info and I look forward to more!
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Veda
It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. - Mabel Newcomber
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill
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2007/12/18, 06:23 PM
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Quoting from vedakathryn:
BINGO! I agree 100% and I would love to hear more, send it my way, Jon, that is absolutely the biggest struggle to overcome, our own brains! Thank you for the info and I look forward to more!
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I'm glad it made sense! It's such a huge topic that I wasn't sure I could do it justice. There are entire books covering each element!
I'll start trying to put sections together on each area that stand alone giving more detail and some practical ideas.
Jon
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