Well I managed one round of training. I just got lazy. I feel really slugish of late and I do know really feel like training at all these days. I know this is the start of depression setting in. I can feel it like a insidious parasite worming its way to my brain. It is a total lack of motivation thing as well. I just need to get back at it. I am not trying to complain, but I am finding it hard to find the time to train. I either get up and wake the whol house (that is just the way my wife and son sleep) at 5am or so. or I sleep in (which is nice) and train after Alex goes to sleep. But then I do not see my wife all but 1 hr and that is not good as being preggers she needs TLC. So I am stuck in this "in between world" where I see the tools of the trade just sitting there. I just wish that it all went away. I am starting to have the "dark thoughts" come back. They are nothing that I can really put into words, been there all my life sometimes just hiding with me. They wait till my guard is down nd then jump all over me. I just feel bad about everything, and the thing is that I know that one set would cure this allmost totaly. why do i do this? It is all I can do to come to work and not lash out ans everyone and everything. I need tog et it all started soon or I may have no choice but to go to a doctor about this. I can not let it get to out of hand or my family will bear the brunt, and that is not a good thing as I can be very nasty. I have no urge to do anything it seems these days just cutting the lawn is almost more than I can take.....

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