Group: I am overweight or obese

Created: 2012/01/01, Members: 381, Messages: 6449

Being overweight is a common trait these days and there is not enough help out there. Find out how you can shed those pounds and improve yourself from within.

Join group

Sticky Secret to weight loss

1 2 of 2 pages resultset_next resultset_last
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2005/03/25, 10:35 AM
No secret, just some cold hard facts....

Not trying to be evil here, but while I have been dealing with this upper respitory illness, of which two people at work developed pnemonia from and the others like myself are going on their fouth week of it, I decided I wanted to post something that has been bugging me....

I have begun to understand some things I as worked very hard to fight temptations while not being able to work out, something I felt was very important as if I could not exercise, I couldn't allow this illness to give me the excuse to give up and pork out.

It seems that there are so many, myself included for a very long time, that are over weight that SAY they want to do something but DON'T...oh, there is the "I won't eat that cookie today" but then go and eat a box the following day. I have gotten VERY determined to change my lifestyle, though with my thyroid void and being in my forties, it has proven to be much more difficult than when I was a young'in, I have come to terms with the fact that as slow as it is, I won't quit, I won't use anything to deter me again and I won't make excuses, even though something like a illness is a bummer it isn't any reason to eat bad like I used to think it was ("Oh heck, I can't work out, so I might as well forget it, I'll be fat forever", attitude).

What I see from my past mistakes and what I see in many others is that there is such a lack of committment. I see so clearly now how I would start/stop, start/stop goals, promises, and was so untrue to myself. I "used" every difficulty thrown at me to throw in the towel. Grant it, I am a very, very busy person with committments to many people, organizations and family, but that does NOT give me the excuse to EAT BAD! I have learned, and trust me, it isn't due to this magic WILLPOWER that suddenly graced me, that I HAVE OTHER CHOICES and to USE THEM! When I set a goal, which I do in smaller intervals to avoid letting myself down, I FINISH the goal. For instance, the two week challenge, I have stuck to what I said, though I still give myself a cheat "day" (which does not include my challenge item) but that is not a day to PORK OUT, it is a day to allow myself something that I like but have cut out of my daily habits AND I eat just a taste, for example, if I chose to have some chips, I eat ones with no trans fat and only a few, the serving size suggested NOT until the bag is gone.

Now, I'm NOT bragging about a darn thing as I don't even deserve that, but I really wish others would look closely at WHY they are not able to even complete a daily goal...WHY do you choose to eat a piece of cake when you can have a delicious piece of chicken? WHY do you shove the chocolate in your mouth before even allowing yourself to think rather than remember that THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME FAT?! I ask this because I asked myself this, I finally have reached a point that I understand that I was my enemy! My choices are mine and my failure to chose the right things are my choices. Why did I ever think; "oohhh, I just can't do without my pop", that is such BS! It is just FOOD FOOD FOOD, not a certificate to happiness!

When you are ready to go a day, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, then a few months, then a year then a lifetime to make healthy changes - then make that committment. If you are not, don't BS yourself, just keep making excuses when life sucks or life is hard or life doesn't give you enough time to breathe let alone exercise because you are NOT ready, if you can't go one day without chocolate or you'll DIE, then you are not ready, when you keep saying that your too tired to cook and drive through the grease garages instead, you are not ready. I was not ready for a long time and kept fooling myself thinking I was, I was just full of BS, I meant well, but I wasn't committed to a darn thing. I thought that it was such a fricken SACRAFICE to NOT eat cookies, fast food, etc., and that is so ridiculous yet it was a 13 year habit.

Dig deep people...and then deeper...

Are you ready or are you just BS'in yourself? Can you go even a day without eating crap? Can you commit, promise and be true to yourself or deep down do you know that you are not ready? Then the next question is...WHEN are you going to be ready? Next week after the fair, after the wedding, after the dinner party, after work slows, after the kids grow, after THIS cookie, THIS pop, THIS Big Mac...AFTER your arteries are clogged with all that grease, after you get diabetes and they start taking your toes, after you have a heart attack, after you suffer a blood clot, after you DIE - is that what you are waiting for?

I am sorry if this sounds like a negative post, but I mean it to be entirely positive, I mean it to let you know that there MAY NOT BE A TOMORROW but THERE IS A TODAY and what you do TODAY will influence whether there will be a TOMORROW!

I have a hell of a long way to go, but somewhere along the line I woke up, somewhere I made a committment I will not falter on, but if I screw up along the way it IS my fault, but I will do something to fix it not something to fail myself.

So......are you hiding from the truth? Are you committing yourself to something and then quietly disappearing from those that know you have made a promise to yourself? Are you NOT committing at all?

It is so sad that I have wasted so much time, made so many bad choices - but like you, I am HERE now and I still have the chance to make the changes and I have made some great strides, but I have to keep making those changes, keep making those strides and SO DO YOU - if you are ready. If your not, when will you be and will it be too late for you then?

Your choice...I hope you make the right one and I hope and pray that I never allow myself to BS my way through life again.

Hugs and hope,

--------------
Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
7707mutt
7707mutt
Posts: 7,686
Joined: 2002/06/18
United States
2005/03/25, 12:08 PM
Great Post!

--------------
Less Talk, More Chalk!

7707mutt@freetrainers.com
nicolesmom
nicolesmom
Posts: 21
Joined: 2005/02/07
United States
2005/03/26, 05:33 PM
How can I possibly eat the Girl Scout thin mint cookies that were delivered today after reading this post? There are now two boxes of cookies in my garbage can. On behalf of my hips and thighs,thank you, for your great timing on this post.:big_smile:
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2005/03/28, 09:30 AM
Thank you, Mutt, I meant every word....

Nicolesmom, GOOD FOR YOU - I am just sorry you paid for them first, lol! Another thought is, if you HAVE to buy something to support kids, buy it and immediately give it back to them! Just give the money and let them keep the food! Hope you keep coming back to FT!!

--------------
Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
moreandless
moreandless
Posts: 1
Joined: 2005/04/02
Canada
2005/04/02, 10:10 PM
well said,just as i was looking for some awnsers you asked me the question that lead to the right one.and yes we are all one excuse away from the end becuase there will always be one more excuse.......just to let you know i was snacky and thought about the kids easter chocolate above my head in the cupboard and said well it wont hurt i am starting my routine on monday why not ,,,,,i got have way down your post and had two bananas and an apple instead...

--------------
small steps forwad will get you closer to your goals than big excuses standing still........
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2005/04/05, 02:28 PM
Awesome, you made the right choice! That is what it is all about, choices and whether we chose to eat to be fat and unhealthy or whether we chose to be healthy! Glad to hear you did the right thing!!

--------------
Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
cuteygurl
cuteygurl
Posts: 11
Joined: 2004/10/29
United States
2005/04/06, 02:12 PM
Wow...sorry I haven't been around latley but that post really is deep. You are exactly right. I have made a lot of bad choices which is why I am so heavy but I am changing that. I have lost 17 lbs since january. Yeah Me!
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2005/04/07, 11:39 AM
YEAH YOU! Excellent, haven't seen you for a while, but good to hear that you are having positive weight losses!! :) Keep it up!! :)

--------------
Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Reddy
Reddy
Posts: 597
Joined: 2003/09/11
United States
2005/04/07, 12:56 PM
That is a very good post - can I send it to a friend??

--------------
Reddy

All people smile in the same language
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2005/04/11, 04:53 PM
Sure you can! If it can get even one person to make some healthy changes, I would be estatic!

--------------
Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
phimugirl1
phimugirl1
Posts: 267
Joined: 2004/06/22
United States
2005/04/16, 08:56 PM
Wow, Veda, great post! Yes, it's me, one of those people who comes for a while and then slacks off. I've got every excuse in the book. Honestly, I'm tired of making the excuses. It doesn't get me the results, weight loss.

Thank you for the encouragement to jump back in and to make myself worth the time and effort.

It sounds like you're doing great. I'm so happy to hear it! Keep up the great work!! :)
asd110304
asd110304
Posts: 6
Joined: 2005/04/19
United States
2005/04/19, 05:20 PM
I just started out lossing weight, can anyone give some advice? :(
asimmer
asimmer
Posts: 8,201
Joined: 2003/01/07
United States
2005/04/27, 01:54 PM
Nice post, veda!

Now, if we all just read it and re-read it and remember that feeling every day we will all get to where we want to be!

--------------
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist but the ability to start over. - F. Scott Fitzgerald
jcraw
jcraw
Posts: 3
Joined: 2005/05/07
United States
2005/05/07, 09:25 PM
i'm new... i am really good at starting a diet and exercise program and then i blow it by "eating" my progress all back. It's hard to stay motivated. Any advise? jcraw
finessfreak
finessfreak
Posts: 10
Joined: 2005/05/18
Australia
2005/05/30, 07:08 AM
i agree... every time i seem to get started and change my habits i seem to eat all my progress back......Over time and trying hard i try to tech my self to hold on and stay strong.....i just got over a comupsive eating disorder... it seems to be working:)you have got to teach yourself to control your habits and gain disicpline.... First you have to feel that you can eat everything, tell yourself that. eat a balanced diet and you will find as you go on the odd binge r two will not matter and you yourself will not want to eat unhealthy stuff:

--------------
if you Believe than you CAN achieve...
INTRUDER
INTRUDER
Posts: 642
Joined: 2002/06/27
United States
2005/06/06, 11:07 PM
Here you go-(Eat Less & exersize more)
OK, its no longer a secret now.

--------------
"Get everthing you want--just make a little change now"
"The thing you have to realize is that you have to work for it,"
hardnfit
hardnfit
Posts: 48
Joined: 2005/02/01
United States
2005/06/06, 11:49 PM
Rite On!
You said it plain & simple. Just too bad that so many are affraid to believe it.
Maybe the problem is that it is something so simple, and effective, that it scares everyone?

============
Quoting from intruder:

Here you go-(Eat Less & exersize more)
OK, its no longer a secret now.


=============
cuteygurl
cuteygurl
Posts: 11
Joined: 2004/10/29
United States
2005/06/07, 08:34 PM
I know you are right but tht is easier said than done! It is hard to break old habits. I guess its like smoking and everyone knows how hard that is to quit.
INTRUDER
INTRUDER
Posts: 642
Joined: 2002/06/27
United States
2005/06/08, 12:35 AM
yep- its just plain ole hard work, something you just learn to accept, and then just do. The best thing about- you can also learn to luv it.

============
Quoting from cuteygurl:

I know you are right but tht is easier said than done! It is hard to break old habits. I guess its like smoking and everyone knows how hard that is to quit.
=============


--------------
"Get everthing you want--just make a little change now"
"The thing you have to realize is that you have to work for it,"
skyye82
skyye82
Posts: 6
Joined: 2005/07/06
United States
2005/07/12, 12:12 PM
Wow, I am so glad I read this. I've been pretty much telling myself the same thing for the last few years. I kept asking myself what was I waiting for. For awhile I was a young single parent working full time and doing everything on my own, so my excuse was I can't find the time to workout and I'm tired when I pick my daughter up and go home. But instead of watching my tv shows for 2 hours every night I could have been popping in my taebo tape and working out. I also had the excuse of 'not enough money' to buy the healthy foods because the cheaper more convenient foods were the 'bad' foods.
Since then I've had another child, gotten married, and I am a stay at home mom now. So I told myself I'd have all the time in the world to workout. I am 60 pounds heavier than I was when I was a working single mom. I weigh more now than I did when I was 9 months pregnant. And why? Because after getting married and moving in with my husband (jan 1st) I kept using the 'as soon as' excuse. As soon as we get this paid and we have more money to buy all healthy foods I'll start. The problem is something always has to be paid and my grocery money is always the same. So after 7 months of 'as soon as' and 15 pounds later I finally come to the realization you were talking about. It doesn't cost a thing to fill my glass up from the tap where as it cost a dollar for a bottle of soda. A bag of apples is no more expensive than a bag of doritos. And after actually going to the store and buying only healthy food I realized it really wasn't that much more expensive if at all. And the best part is my 4 year old daughter loves grapes, oranges, apples, etc., and she can't even tell the difference between 2% or lower milk and whole milk. (my son drinks whole milk because he's only 1 year old) But I read the other day that in studies young children and toddlers, on any given day, may go the whole day without eating even 1 serving of fruit. It made me feel good to know that my children eat oranges, grapes, bananas everyday, all day. And plus I figure if I get them into the habit now of eating healthy maybe they won't be having this conversation in 20 years.
So, when I realized this descision was not just about me, it really made me think about my daughter and how it was growing up and being depressed because you don't feel confident in yourself because of your weight. I never want her to feel that. And plus it just plain healthier.
:big_smile:
hardnfit
hardnfit
Posts: 48
Joined: 2005/02/01
United States
2005/07/27, 07:54 PM
I hear yeah! :)
raiderfan
raiderfan
Posts: 12
Joined: 2005/04/05
United States
2005/10/06, 04:18 PM
WoW ! Very well said and Right On. People all need to hear the truth. I just passed my 50 lb. weight loss goal working on the next 25. It was exactly that for me. I decided one day when I realized I was 4 lbs shy of 300 that no one, friend family or foe including myself was going to stop me. My daughters tell me "Dad, your committment is amazing. I hope we inherit at least a little of it as that would be enough. It is a choice every minute of every day. I choose to do what I can today to get better. I worry about tommorow only when it gets here. Again, well spoken.

--------------
Raiderfan
NorCal
Trickster
Trickster
Posts: 6
Joined: 2005/12/20
United States
2005/12/20, 01:34 PM
raiderfan, That`s a great post! That`s a great dedication! I wish I had your will to do so good at my weightloss course!
kreyzkristen124
kreyzkristen124
Posts: 4
Joined: 2006/01/24
United States
2006/01/27, 10:10 AM
Yea!..your post was very interesting..thnks today in Foods class we had Chocolate covered cream puffs and i looked at them and everyone was eating one and i decided not to eat one...i brought it downstairs to a teacher instead fo me eating it..and im trying to lose weight so bad but i just cant go to the gym and its WAY too cold to run outside...and my boyfriend keeps telling me that by me eating rite that i will still lose some weight but i dont believe him i think im going to stay at the same weight or only lose a pound or so...Do you think i can lose any weight by not exercising?..Like i do pilates and a butt thing but i dont think its helping...Wat do you think?..well thnks very much...hope i hear from you soon!!!!
:(

-Kristen:love:
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2006/01/30, 10:59 AM
Kristen -

A person can lose weight by diet alone, just as you can lose weight by exercise alone, but it is best to combine the two so you lose fat, not muscle, and you are able to keep the weight off. Exercise adds so many benefits to your life that I don't think I would want to lose weight by diet alone, also it may be a slower process, too, by choosing one or the other...

--------------
Veda
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
Just live life and enjoy it!
johnsoncy
johnsoncy
Posts: 2
Joined: 2006/01/31
United States
2006/01/31, 09:35 AM
i have been tellin myself for years that i am going to do something about my weight and i still haven't. this morning to got up and went to work out, i feel great. then i came home and read this, i was amazed on what you had to say, i say to myself everyday i am going to quit this and i'm going to quit that but i never do. Today i am!!!
thank you

candy:big_smile::love:
johnsoncy
johnsoncy
Posts: 2
Joined: 2006/01/31
United States
2006/01/31, 09:35 AM
i have been tellin myself for years that i am going to do something about my weight and i still haven't. this morning to got up and went to work out, i feel great. then i came home and read this, i was amazed on what you had to say, i say to myself everyday i am going to quit this and i'm going to quit that but i never do. Today i am!!!
thank you

candy:big_smile::love:
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2006/01/31, 10:25 AM
You CAN DO IT, Candy, there is absolutely NOTHING stopping you from accomplishing your goals, NOTHING except yourself! Remember, if you really WANT a piece of candy - don't you WANT a healthier lifestyle MORE?! I'll bet you do, we just don't give ourselves the time to make that decision before we plop something in our mouths!! Take the time - YOU ARE WORTH IT and you CAN HONESTLY DO IT!! Please keep coming back to the FT overweight forum and post your good days and bad, it helps to be accountable, it really helps to know people are here to support you!!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND WELCOME TO FT! Sign in to your profile, check out the free nutrition and exercise programs here!!

--------------
Veda
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
Just live life and enjoy it!
Mojo_67
Mojo_67
Posts: 1,299
Joined: 2003/09/23
United States
2006/05/28, 07:18 PM
This is a free info site...it is not to be used as a tool to peddle your product.

--------------
Days go by and life drags on.....
Mojo_67
Mojo_67
Posts: 1,299
Joined: 2003/09/23
United States
2006/05/29, 04:03 AM
My last post was in response to a post which has since been removed by the admin. or moderators.

--------------
Days go by and life drags on.....
honeybear3781
honeybear3781
Posts: 2
Joined: 2006/06/07
United States
2006/06/14, 10:35 AM
Wow, what a great motivating post. Thanks!!!I am new to FT and trying to stay motivated I make excuses sometimes like my knee and the weather, and I'll start after my birthday, or after the party. After reading your post it opened my eyes there's no time like the present and I got started yesterday! Thanks!!
fatboy1985
fatboy1985
Posts: 2
Joined: 2006/06/24
United States
2006/06/24, 04:44 AM
im going to kill my self if i dont loss weight please help me i cant take it any more:angry:
SynceriTiye
SynceriTiye
Posts: 4
Joined: 2006/06/23
United States
2006/06/24, 06:08 AM
what a tragic attitude to take... Saying you're going to kill yourself is a bit extreme but it is true... by not losing weight and remaining obese science does show us that we are slowly killing ourselves. This forum can work for you to support you in your weight loss goals, however, you have to do the work yourself, no one can do it for you. My best I can give you is to make a plan... figure out how many calories you are going to require to reach your goal weight (there are plenty of online tools as well as tools on this site) find the healthy foods you like best in each category(meat, veggies, fruits, etc.) and create a weekly meal plan around them. Buy plenty of plastic storage containers so you can prepare your meals in advance, refrigerate them (breakfast, lunch, dinner & snacks) this way you have no way to cheap yourself... your meals are already created and you just go about your week until it is time to reformat for the next week. Read the exercise programs here and FOLLOW THEM... It is one thing to read them and another to execute them. One thing my sis found that worked for her was she would purchase one fitness magazine and complete its 6, 8, or 12 week workout plan then REWARD herself with another magazine with a new 6, 8, 12 week workout plan. This provided her with a bit of variety so her body wouldn't get used to the workouts she was doing the previous weeks. Best of luck to you my dear... you have an entire community behind you. But you have to work.
hscarino
hscarino
Posts: 2
Joined: 2006/10/23
Philippines
2006/10/23, 04:16 AM
Please help me I want to loose weight and fast! I'm already 86 kgs.... Help me. Tell me what to do!

--------------
Harriet
hscarino@gmail.com
asimmer
asimmer
Posts: 8,201
Joined: 2003/01/07
United States
2006/10/25, 07:21 AM
hascarino - pick a plan from freetrainers (up at the top of the screen under 'exercise program') and get started.
fast weight loss usually isn't a reality, but staedy and consistent weight loss can be.

Read the posts for the guided fat loss challenge - I lay out an easy eating plan and workout routine that anyone could follow - try it and see how you do, or even join the challenge - you need to read the official challenge post and send me your stats if you want to join. But you could just do the workout and eating plan, too.

--------------


AIM HIGH TIME FLIES
slz32680
slz32680
Posts: 1
Joined: 2004/10/09
United States
2006/11/18, 07:30 PM
that was inspired I am printing it up to look at every day when I wake up in the hope it will help me make the right choices for me every day

--------------
thank you sincerly
stacy
beleave in you dreams and all is posible
jmh95376
jmh95376
Posts: 1
Joined: 2006/11/30
United States
2006/11/30, 03:05 PM
I am 35 pounds overweight and I want to go back to the gym and start eating right again, but i am discouraged! It doesn't seem to do anything for me. I am getting married in March of 2007 and i would like to lose my excess weight before then. What do you think of an all natural dietary supplement to go along with the diet and exercise?

--------------
Farewell Excess Baggage
livingitfortoda
livingitfortoda
Posts: 3
Joined: 2007/05/30
United Kingdom
2007/05/30, 06:48 AM
Hi im 5ft7ish and weigh about 12stone. People say i dont look fat but i really do feel it. I eat as healthily as i can and rather balanced diet but i just cant really loose the weight. I have a medical, back problem so excercise is very hard and painful. Can anyone help? Im not trying to loose weight straight away but i think that if i do loose weight then not only will i look and feel better but it might take some strain of my back.
SINGER26
SINGER26
Posts: 3
Joined: 2007/05/24
United States
2007/05/31, 01:14 PM
have u gone to a physical therapist? my sister is one and i asked her for u and she said with back injuries u need to be really careful on what u do and if it hurtsa that bad what about made water exercise to take pressure of your back? just trying to help. u look great though but exercise does make the muscles feel bet3er:big_smile:
sana85
sana85
Posts: 2
Joined: 2007/09/12
United States
2007/09/12, 04:50 PM
Hello everyone....i am new to this program....i am currently trying to lose weight, but really don't think i am succeeding at it...i mean i am taking dietry pills and working out here at my home...i really don't want to be overweight anymore due to knowing the symptoms that are related to it...do u think that taking the pills is helpful...is there anyone out there that can help in anyway...
MaryAnn0511
MaryAnn0511
Posts: 2
Joined: 2007/09/21
United States
2007/09/21, 11:12 AM
Well, I just signed up on this website and this was the first post I have read. What an inspiring, and honest yet uncomfortable truth! Thank you for sharing your frustrations and encouragements! I'm going to print this off and keep a copy at work and at home. I fall prey to the exhaustion of my job and using that as an excuse to not try. Which is why I'm up to almost 160 pounds and I HAVE to quit the excuses and make REAL changes.
Thanks again,
MaryAnn
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2007/10/12, 11:05 AM
I just wanted to add to my original post, in hopes of showing that you can honestly win the battle of weight if you put your mind AND heart to it. It can't be one or the other, it has to be both because I have found that though often times my mind has been set, my heart has had too much burden on it to deal with it, life gets to be just too hard and though my heart ached with a longing to be healthy, it was just short on available time because I was giving it to everyone else...and other times my heart has been ready to go, real passion toward meeting my goals -but then my mind has stopped me by holding onto that nagging voice that says I will fail...I AM a failure...I have done THIS before and failed...SO WHY TRY?

I HAVE been on the rollercoaster of weight highs and lows for many years...I didn't get my trouble until cancer, I never had a real problem with weight, even after three children I walked out of the hospital in my pre-pregnancy clothes...but I always had a problem with food, eating healthy, making the right choices. Even when I was in my top form and working out 2-4 hours a day, if I ate big meals, I would starve myself for it. At a young age I was borderline anorexia which actually formed into the dreaded overeat and purge bulimia.

And, after two years of being on FreeTrainers, I have made committments to myself and broken them, once again, allowing circumstances to delegate my lifestyle. Both my sons are going through rough marriages, my oldest on his third child and he is only 23 and I am raising his beautiful firstborn...my darling middle boy married his middle/high school sweetheart and they had a wonderful, gorgeous little boy -who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, Spinal Muscular Atrophy and they said he would not live until this past Christmas, but he is a fighter and is now 17 months -but his parents are now seperated and it is excrutiatingly painful for us all...my husband turned to other methods of finding enjoyment and it nearly cost us our marriage........the list is absolutely endless.....

WHY am I sharing such personal moments with mostly total strangers? Because I want you to know that I KNOW that I am not the only one that deals with the daily struggles of life and I am not the only one that has let life make me what I am instead of making myself what I want to be. I WANT to be happy -- I want to be HEALTHY and though it took to the age of 46 to finally get it all together (work-in-progress, mind you!), I wanted to share with you that it can be done, if you let it, but you HAVE to let it, you cannot forget one day, one moment what your goal is, you cannot let emotional turmoil lead a path to your refrigerator or the fast food restaurants, you cannot depend on OTHERS for your happiness, because they will fail you, because THEY are not perfect either. No matter how much someone loves you, they cannot know exactly what you are going through inside and if you are anything like me, you will put on a facade of either being happy when you are miserable or you will become bitter at your situation and at others for having what you feel you don't.

I sit here today, writing because I read hundreds of posts that say the same things I said for years...I see people come and go (I have come and gone myself) and if you don't ever return to freetrainers but are successful at becoming healthy and reach your goals -hey, that is wonderful as long as you find a way to get there, but I believe honestly that people reach out searching for answers and most want someone to tell them HOW to become healthy, HOW to deal with day to day interuptions in their life, HOW to cope, HOW to eat, HOW to exercise...and there is no place I have ever found like freetrainers to help so thoroughly with all these things ---BUT, many people disappear, almost like committment is hitting them in the face and though they want help...they are afraid of having to be accountable to themselves, many want at that very moment all answers and really someone to come into their lives that will make these changes happen for them......but it doesn't work that way. We find friendships here, we find encouragement, compassion, like minded people, people we can relate to -and we find inspiration through others...but you can NEVER find quick fixes, you won't find someone that can hand you all the answers that will immediately put you on the road to good health --no one can do that for you, no group, no individual -- NO ONE...JUST YOU...and YOU CAN DO IT, you CAN -there is not ONE person that cannot change their ways to a healthier lifestyle --yes, some of you may be going through things that make it difficult, make it seem near impossible --I KNOW those moments, days, years....But you can stop right now -TAKE A DEEP BREATH and say; THIS IS THE DAY I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF --THIS IS THE DAY I AM GOING TO BEGIN AGAIN --THIS IS MY DAY, MY BEGINNING! I AM GOING TO PUT MY HEART AND MIND TO REST TODAY BY REALIZING THAT THE WORLD IS ALWAYS GOING TO THROW ME PUNCHES, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT CHANGE MY DETERMINATION, MY HOPES, MY DREAMS OF BEING HEALTHY! I KNOW THAT LIFE IS HARD, I KNOW THAT PEOPLE NEED ME, BUT THEY WILL NOT HAVE ME IF I AM NOT HEALTHY! I WILL NOT GAIN BUT ONE HOUR OF LIFE FOR MY WORRIES, BUT I CAN LOSE MORE THAN THAT, SO I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME FIRST BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT LIFE IS NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT, BUT I CAN TAKE THOSE PUNCHES MUCH BETTER WHEN MY HEART AND MIND ARE CLEANSED AND PURGED OF BURDEN AND I CAN HELP OTHERS MUCH BETTER WHEN I AM HEALTHY NOT FULL OF DONUTS, ICE CREAM, POP, AND OTHER FOODS THAT WILL TAKE ME DOWN! I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TAKE BABY STEPS TOWARD MY GOALS, I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO DO WHAT WORKS FOR ME, I CAN'T EXPECT OVERNIGHT CHANGES, BUT I CAN EXPECT OVERNIGHT SUCCESSES, BECAUSE EACH DAY I MAKE A CHANGE TOWARD A BETTER, HEALTHIER LIFE, I SUCCEED! BUT, IF I DO HAVE A BAD DAY, I WON'T LET IT THROW ME OFF COURSE, BUT JUST DIG MY HEELS IN DEEPER - HARDER - AND REMEMBER HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME TO BE HEALTHIER! I WILL NOT GIVE UP, I WILL HAVE ROADBLOCKS AND I WILL PUSH THROUGH THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY MAY SLOW ME DOWN -THEY WILL NOT STOP ME! I WILL HAVE DETOURS AND EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE CONFUSING AND CAUSE ME TO SECOND GUESS MYSELF -I WILL NOT GO IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!! I HAVE MY MIND AND HEART ON ONE SINGLE GOAL AND THAT IS TO BE HEALTHIER FOR MYSELF AND IF I AM ONE TO BE BURDENED BY OTHERS NEEDS, I UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN HELP BY ALLOWING MYSELF TO REST, TO KNOW THAT I CANNOT BE ANYTHING TO ANYONE WITHOUT FIRST BEING KIND TO MYSELF, WITHOUT FIRST ATTENDING TO MY NEEDS --AND THAT IS NOT SELFISH, THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO HELP ANYONE IS BY HELPING MYSELF FIRST. I WILL START TODAY AND TAKE EVERYDAY LIKE IT IS WHAT WILL GIVE ME STRENGTH FOR TOMORROW AND I WILL FIND MOTIVATION IN MYSELF, BECAUSE I DESERVE HAPPINESS, I DESERVE A HEALTHY LIFE!

Because we feel better when we can put on clothes without analyzing how many rolls are showing, we can chase our kids or our grandkids without collapsing or complaining that we just can't play today, we can exhuberate a self-confidence we never had before, we can take joy in delicious healthy foods, pushing away things that only serve to destroy us (DESTROY US!!)....

I am now 40 pounds lighter and still going...please, join me and feel better each and every day -I can promise you that you will find a renewed love of life when you can find love for yourself again and know that you can only be there for others when you are there for yourself and allow yourself rest...peace...even when there are days when you don't think there is any...you can still find moments to allow yourself relief.

Now, go, please and begin again...TODAY! And LET US HEAR FROM YOU, DON'T GO AWAY, BECAUSE TOGETHER WE CAN FIND INSPIRATION!

Veda

--------------
Veda

It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. - Mabel Newcomber

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill
splyce
splyce
Posts: 4
Joined: 2007/09/21
United States
2007/11/30, 12:07 AM
I have been touched buy this string, like I've never been touched before. This IS the way. It is not limited to weight loss. This is the way to solve all the problems which assalt us all in life. Trust me when I tell you I have faced many issues and beaten them down using calm, intelligent, persistance. I bashed my head against the wall and failed miserably, got mad and fell on my face. But when I put my Heart and Mind to the problem I could face it head on and WIN. I now have a wonderful life, but have put on alot of weight and lost my muscle mass and tone which stood by me through my earlier years(about to turn 48) I lost the muscle first and went to a scrawny(for me)195 lbs. Then I exploded up to 275lbs of fat. I am now into my second 8 week program developed by this site. While I have only lost 15 lbs I have reduced my waistline by 5 and a half inches! In only 10 weeks! I used the same commitment which Veda is doing a wonderful job of explaning. Persistance and perserverance, Heart and Mind.
My best to all who read this string and many blessings upon you all. Veda keep up the good work.

--------------
that others may live, arrrrff
rickyshot
rickyshot
Posts: 153
Joined: 2003/05/13
United States
2007/12/20, 09:46 AM
I just loved this thread. I got to add be brutally real with ourselves. IE. I know I am weak for baked goods and I am a baker par excellence. I hardly do it. Why because I lick the pans, eat the dough etc and of course indulge in the "goodies". I have no control in that area so I don't do it or keep the crap in my house. I have read all the psychology and tips for handling this and I don't get a grip at all. I gotta be honest that stuff is drugs for me. So I don't have it in my house point final. Do I totally abstain. No. A few times a year I indulge. But I know myself and gotta keep it real. If you are up against foods you cannot handle at the moment get them out of your house. At the job give away the goodies. Yeah enable someone else lol. But do what it takes and keep it real.
buggie7269
buggie7269
Posts: 5
Joined: 2007/12/19
United States
2007/12/22, 02:11 AM
oh wow! I so saw myself in that post. Awesome! We do have to be brutal with ourselves. We have to be honest and admit that it is a lifestyle change not a diet.
Erin_123
Erin_123
Posts: 10
Joined: 2007/08/17
Canada
2008/05/30, 11:28 PM
hey!!! I havnt been on here in a long time...I applogize, i've been too busy getting skinny.

I LOST 50 POUNDS!!!!

...and far surpased any expectations I had for myself!

i just uploaded new pics...they should be up soon hopefully.

I'm not sure what works for everyone else but this is what worked for me...

- Count Calories
..and dont starve yourself! I kept my calories around 2000 per day...i didnt cut out ice cream and doughnuts because i LOOOOOVE them. I just added them into my daily calories. If you dont know how many calories there are in something..google it. Eventually you wont need to keep looking it up.

- Stop drinking sugar...Pop, sugar in your coffee, that venti moccawhatever from starbucks...switch to useing splenda or learn to drink water...it's not that bad!

- MOVE! at 220 pounds i broke a sweat walking downstairs...so i walked down a few more times...take a stroll around the block, go window shopping, go for a bike ride...you dont have to be huffing and puffing just walk...take a stroll on your lunch break! No one really cares if you sweat like a pig..you DO have time.

- LOG OFF! msn wont miss you for 30 min...and your friends wont mind if you walk over and visit.

- Pick up a hobby! keep yourself busy and your mind off food...learn to play guitar, knit, draw, sk8board, travel the world looking for rare artifacts...whatever, it'll do you good.

- STOP STAREING AT THE SCALE!!! your weight will fluctuate like crazy...dont obsess it'll only make you feel fatter. stop careing so much and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!


Hope that helps...sure helped me! seemed like the weight just fell of in my case, i've never felt better.
soniaf2
soniaf2
Posts: 3
Joined: 2008/06/18
United States
2008/06/18, 03:12 PM

wow thank you so much that was the most down to earth true no bs talk i have heard in quite some time and i thank you so very much for you honesty i really need that and i know what i need to do best of luck to you and hopefully this was my sign from the fat gods to get my a-- in gear
============
Quoting from vedakathryn:

No secret, just some cold hard facts....

Not trying to be evil here, but while I have been dealing with this upper respitory illness, of which two people at work developed pnemonia from and the others like myself are going on their fouth week of it, I decided I wanted to post something that has been bugging me....

I have begun to understand some things I as worked very hard to fight temptations while not being able to work out, something I felt was very important as if I could not exercise, I couldn't allow this illness to give me the excuse to give up and pork out.

It seems that there are so many, myself included for a very long time, that are over weight that SAY they want to do something but DON'T...oh, there is the "I won't eat that cookie today" but then go and eat a box the following day. I have gotten VERY determined to change my lifestyle, though with my thyroid void and being in my forties, it has proven to be much more difficult than when I was a young'in, I have come to terms with the fact that as slow as it is, I won't quit, I won't use anything to deter me again and I won't make excuses, even though something like a illness is a bummer it isn't any reason to eat bad like I used to think it was ("Oh heck, I can't work out, so I might as well forget it, I'll be fat forever", attitude).

What I see from my past mistakes and what I see in many others is that there is such a lack of committment. I see so clearly now how I would start/stop, start/stop goals, promises, and was so untrue to myself. I "used" every difficulty thrown at me to throw in the towel. Grant it, I am a very, very busy person with committments to many people, organizations and family, but that does NOT give me the excuse to EAT BAD! I have learned, and trust me, it isn't due to this magic WILLPOWER that suddenly graced me, that I HAVE OTHER CHOICES and to USE THEM! When I set a goal, which I do in smaller intervals to avoid letting myself down, I FINISH the goal. For instance, the two week challenge, I have stuck to what I said, though I still give myself a cheat "day" (which does not include my challenge item) but that is not a day to PORK OUT, it is a day to allow myself something that I like but have cut out of my daily habits AND I eat just a taste, for example, if I chose to have some chips, I eat ones with no trans fat and only a few, the serving size suggested NOT until the bag is gone.

Now, I'm NOT bragging about a darn thing as I don't even deserve that, but I really wish others would look closely at WHY they are not able to even complete a daily goal...WHY do you choose to eat a piece of cake when you can have a delicious piece of chicken? WHY do you shove the chocolate in your mouth before even allowing yourself to think rather than remember that THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME FAT?! I ask this because I asked myself this, I finally have reached a point that I understand that I was my enemy! My choices are mine and my failure to chose the right things are my choices. Why did I ever think; "oohhh, I just can't do without my pop", that is such BS! It is just FOOD FOOD FOOD, not a certificate to happiness!

When you are ready to go a day, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, then a few months, then a year then a lifetime to make healthy changes - then make that committment. If you are not, don't BS yourself, just keep making excuses when life sucks or life is hard or life doesn't give you enough time to breathe let alone exercise because you are NOT ready, if you can't go one day without chocolate or you'll DIE, then you are not ready, when you keep saying that your too tired to cook and drive through the grease garages instead, you are not ready. I was not ready for a long time and kept fooling myself thinking I was, I was just full of BS, I meant well, but I wasn't committed to a darn thing. I thought that it was such a fricken SACRAFICE to NOT eat cookies, fast food, etc., and that is so ridiculous yet it was a 13 year habit.

Dig deep people...and then deeper...

Are you ready or are you just BS'in yourself? Can you go even a day without eating crap? Can you commit, promise and be true to yourself or deep down do you know that you are not ready? Then the next question is...WHEN are you going to be ready? Next week after the fair, after the wedding, after the dinner party, after work slows, after the kids grow, after THIS cookie, THIS pop, THIS Big Mac...AFTER your arteries are clogged with all that grease, after you get diabetes and they start taking your toes, after you have a heart attack, after you suffer a blood clot, after you DIE - is that what you are waiting for?

I am sorry if this sounds like a negative post, but I mean it to be entirely positive, I mean it to let you know that there MAY NOT BE A TOMORROW but THERE IS A TODAY and what you do TODAY will influence whether there will be a TOMORROW!

I have a hell of a long way to go, but somewhere along the line I woke up, somewhere I made a committment I will not falter on, but if I screw up along the way it IS my fault, but I will do something to fix it not something to fail myself.

So......are you hiding from the truth? Are you committing yourself to something and then quietly disappearing from those that know you have made a promise to yourself? Are you NOT committing at all?

It is so sad that I have wasted so much time, made so many bad choices - but like you, I am HERE now and I still have the chance to make the changes and I have made some great strides, but I have to keep making those changes, keep making those strides and SO DO YOU - if you are ready. If your not, when will you be and will it be too late for you then?

Your choice...I hope you make the right one and I hope and pray that I never allow myself to BS my way through life again.

Hugs and hope,


=============
soniaf2
soniaf2
Posts: 3
Joined: 2008/06/18
United States
2008/06/18, 03:14 PM

wow thank you so much that was the most down to earth true no bs talk i have heard in quite some time and i thank you so very much for you honesty i really need that and i know what i need to do best of luck to you and hopefully this was my sign from the fat gods to get my a-- in gear
============
Quoting from vedakathryn:

No secret, just some cold hard facts....

Not trying to be evil here, but while I have been dealing with this upper respitory illness, of which two people at work developed pnemonia from and the others like myself are going on their fouth week of it, I decided I wanted to post something that has been bugging me....

I have begun to understand some things I as worked very hard to fight temptations while not being able to work out, something I felt was very important as if I could not exercise, I couldn't allow this illness to give me the excuse to give up and pork out.

It seems that there are so many, myself included for a very long time, that are over weight that SAY they want to do something but DON'T...oh, there is the "I won't eat that cookie today" but then go and eat a box the following day. I have gotten VERY determined to change my lifestyle, though with my thyroid void and being in my forties, it has proven to be much more difficult than when I was a young'in, I have come to terms with the fact that as slow as it is, I won't quit, I won't use anything to deter me again and I won't make excuses, even though something like a illness is a bummer it isn't any reason to eat bad like I used to think it was ("Oh heck, I can't work out, so I might as well forget it, I'll be fat forever", attitude).

What I see from my past mistakes and what I see in many others is that there is such a lack of committment. I see so clearly now how I would start/stop, start/stop goals, promises, and was so untrue to myself. I "used" every difficulty thrown at me to throw in the towel. Grant it, I am a very, very busy person with committments to many people, organizations and family, but that does NOT give me the excuse to EAT BAD! I have learned, and trust me, it isn't due to this magic WILLPOWER that suddenly graced me, that I HAVE OTHER CHOICES and to USE THEM! When I set a goal, which I do in smaller intervals to avoid letting myself down, I FINISH the goal. For instance, the two week challenge, I have stuck to what I said, though I still give myself a cheat "day" (which does not include my challenge item) but that is not a day to PORK OUT, it is a day to allow myself something that I like but have cut out of my daily habits AND I eat just a taste, for example, if I chose to have some chips, I eat ones with no trans fat and only a few, the serving size suggested NOT until the bag is gone.

Now, I'm NOT bragging about a darn thing as I don't even deserve that, but I really wish others would look closely at WHY they are not able to even complete a daily goal...WHY do you choose to eat a piece of cake when you can have a delicious piece of chicken? WHY do you shove the chocolate in your mouth before even allowing yourself to think rather than remember that THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME FAT?! I ask this because I asked myself this, I finally have reached a point that I understand that I was my enemy! My choices are mine and my failure to chose the right things are my choices. Why did I ever think; "oohhh, I just can't do without my pop", that is such BS! It is just FOOD FOOD FOOD, not a certificate to happiness!

When you are ready to go a day, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, then a few months, then a year then a lifetime to make healthy changes - then make that committment. If you are not, don't BS yourself, just keep making excuses when life sucks or life is hard or life doesn't give you enough time to breathe let alone exercise because you are NOT ready, if you can't go one day without chocolate or you'll DIE, then you are not ready, when you keep saying that your too tired to cook and drive through the grease garages instead, you are not ready. I was not ready for a long time and kept fooling myself thinking I was, I was just full of BS, I meant well, but I wasn't committed to a darn thing. I thought that it was such a fricken SACRAFICE to NOT eat cookies, fast food, etc., and that is so ridiculous yet it was a 13 year habit.

Dig deep people...and then deeper...

Are you ready or are you just BS'in yourself? Can you go even a day without eating crap? Can you commit, promise and be true to yourself or deep down do you know that you are not ready? Then the next question is...WHEN are you going to be ready? Next week after the fair, after the wedding, after the dinner party, after work slows, after the kids grow, after THIS cookie, THIS pop, THIS Big Mac...AFTER your arteries are clogged with all that grease, after you get diabetes and they start taking your toes, after you have a heart attack, after you suffer a blood clot, after you DIE - is that what you are waiting for?

I am sorry if this sounds like a negative post, but I mean it to be entirely positive, I mean it to let you know that there MAY NOT BE A TOMORROW but THERE IS A TODAY and what you do TODAY will influence whether there will be a TOMORROW!

I have a hell of a long way to go, but somewhere along the line I woke up, somewhere I made a committment I will not falter on, but if I screw up along the way it IS my fault, but I will do something to fix it not something to fail myself.

So......are you hiding from the truth? Are you committing yourself to something and then quietly disappearing from those that know you have made a promise to yourself? Are you NOT committing at all?

It is so sad that I have wasted so much time, made so many bad choices - but like you, I am HERE now and I still have the chance to make the changes and I have made some great strides, but I have to keep making those changes, keep making those strides and SO DO YOU - if you are ready. If your not, when will you be and will it be too late for you then?

Your choice...I hope you make the right one and I hope and pray that I never allow myself to BS my way through life again.

Hugs and hope,


=============
Vedakathryn
Vedakathryn
Posts: 1,585
Joined: 2004/05/28
United States
2008/07/10, 11:55 PM
Nothing comes closer to the truth than when you speak it...let yourself tell yourself what it is that stops you, what hurts you, what angers you and then GET OVER IT and start LIVING! :) It may take awhile, but you will feel better every day for it, so start NOW and start LIVING!:love:

--------------
Veda

It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. - Mabel Newcomber

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill
Xcourt.X
Xcourt.X
Posts: 1
Joined: 2008/08/04
United States
2008/08/04, 02:44 AM
Message deleted by moderator due to unsuitable content for this board.
1 2 of 2 pages resultset_next resultset_last